Stutter
by EndlessInspiration
Summary: Badboy!Blaine and Nerd!Kurt / Kurt Hummel was all too used to being alone, his nerdy clothes and ways making bullies torment him and others ignore him. So why was Blaine Anderson, the irksome, disgusting but insanely good looking bad boy taking to him?
1. Chapter 1

**So I was on tumblr thinking on all the new head canons and this weirdness started up in my brain... idek **

**this is just a bit on nonsense but its badboy!blaine and nerd!kurt. **

**enjoy! :) **

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><p>Kurt thought this had to be some kind of mistake.<p>

He was all to used to the locker slams and people ignoring him by now, aware that his appearance and life practically screamed target to the bullies. Kurt was a loser, and he sort of hated it. He spent his free time studying and doing homework, spent every lunch in the library, practiced increasingly difficult math equations for fun and wore the classic tucked in button up shirts, vests, tight pants and bow ties every day.

Some days he even went for suspenders.

Kurt didn't do any of this on purpose. It wasn't like he wanted to be a loser. It was just who he was. All his life his father had pushed him to be smarter so he could be successful, and Kurt did everything he could to make his dad proud. Sure, the teasing over the clothes his father bought him and the way he spent his time hurt, but seeing his fathers smile when he walked across the stage to get honor roll diplomas and the pride in his eyes when Kurt brought home his flawless report cards made it all worth it.

Kurt Hummel was going to get out of this town, and he'd be damned if his grades weren't good enough to get him there.

Being smart and dressing in nerd chic weren't the only reasons Kurt was bullied however- he was gay. He didn't know how the rumours got out, and some days he doesn't know why he never tried to deny it or keep it a secret. Even since he started being open about it the teasing got worse, and Kurt was left totally ignored at school and bullied daily.

That's why when a body sat across from him in the library after school Kurt was confused. He looked up and gasped when he saw who it was, failing to hide his surprise.

He was gorgeous. Hazel eyes stared intensely at him, hidden by loose curls that hung in his forehead. Kurt took in the hazel eyes, the strong jaw, the cocky but oh so sexy smile and the distinct smell of cigarette smoke and gulped, knowing his face was probably flushed red.

It was Blaine Anderson. The schools new bad boy and most recent transfer student. Kurt remembered hearing stories about how he apparently lit a desk on fire during a science class at his old school, which was why he had transferred here. He had already witnessed countless scenes of his rebellion in his own classes they shared- talking back to teachers, sleeping in class, leaving in the middle of lessons or not showing up at all for weeks on end.

One lesson Blaine had even taken out a pocket knife and started carving a lewd picture of a penis into a desk before the teacher went ballistic, Blaine being escorted from class by the principal.

Kurt tried to calm his beating heart, terrified of the dangerous but insanely attractive boy. Blaine must have noticed his discomfort however, because his smile got wider and he winked, making Kurt gulp.

"You know the detention drill Anderson, you sit here until- Kurt, what are you doing here?"

Kurt spun around in his chair and saw the smiling face of the schools vice principal trying to smile back, already beginning to put his books away.

"I was st-studying, sir. But if there's a detention going on in here I could go ho-"

"Actually it's great that you're here, Mr. Hummel. I have to run down the hall to get something from my office and make a phone call. Could you make sure Mr. Anderson here doesn't leave the library?"

Kurt felt his stomach twist, wanting to say no since he was terrified of Blaine, but not knowing how to say no to a teacher- especially the vice principal.

"Of course." He said quietly, sitting back down, trying to ignore the way Blaine put his feet up on the desk, smirking at Kurt as the principal rushed out of the room.

The library was sielnt for a moment, Kurt taking his history book back out of his backpack, Blaine humming across from him, feet still up on the table.

Kurt ignored him until the smell of cigarette smoke got stronger, Kurt looking up and gaping at him.

"You c-cant smoke in the Library." He said nervously, Blaine rolling his eyes and laughing.

"You gonna stop me gorgeous?"

Kurt blushed deep red, heart pounding at the nickname.

"Don't... just stop, please? I'm supposed to be watching you."

"Enjoying the view?" Blaine asked cockily, laughing when Kurt sputtered, unable to answer.

"Would you relax? I'm not gonna bite you..." Blaine muttered, taking another drag of his cigarette before exhaling, smiling at Kurt. "Unless you're into that sort of thing."

Kurt stared at him for a moment, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Would you stop it?" He finally muttered, blushing and looking down. He hated when guys at school did this sort of thing- hitting on the lonely gay kid, making him squirm. Blaine put his cigarette out against the wooden table, putting his feet back on the ground and turning so he was sitting directly across from Kurt.

"Stop what?"

"Teasing me." Kurt said, noticing a faint scar running down along the side of Blaine's temple, stopping near the middle of his cheek. The sight made his stomach flip uncomfortably.

"Aww, now why would I do something like that gorgeous?"

Kurt blushed again, refusing to answer as he turned back to his book. Blaine watched him for a moment, the silence stretching between them before Blaine spoke again.

"Why are you here so late anyways?"

"I was studying." Kurt said, still not looking up. "Unlike some students I actually care about my education."

"I care about my education too." Kurt could practically see the smirk that was probably on his face, judging by his voice. "Sex ed."

"Only class you care about, isn't it?" Kurt was surprised the comment that had slipped out so easily, his usual replies to others being nervous stutters or just staying silent.

"That class is a bore, I already know everything I need. I learn though experience."

"So I've heard." Kurt thought of Santana Lopez, the girl who always bragged about how fantastic Blaine was during math, some of her comments still making Kurt blush at the thought. "The ladies really seem to love you, Anderson. Congratulations."

"Someone sounds bitter..." Blaine said in a murmur, making Kurt blush again. "Awww, is the little virgin jealous?" Kurt bit his lower lip, begging himself not to look up. "We could change that you know. I could introduce you to a little sex education a la Blaine Anderson."

Kurt slammed his book shut.

"Would you just stop it?" He looked up angrily, ignoring the amusement in Blaine's eyes. "You're disgusting. Could you please just... stop teasing me like the rest of them do? I'm gay okay? And I know you may think it's amusing to tease me for it, but it really sucks on my end. And I dont need you to give me any other form of sex ed either because trust me, I'm _not_ interested. Now leave me alone."

"Wow, the kitten has a roar." Blaine laughed, Kurt still glaring. He heard the door open and knew it was the principal, standing and violently shoving his books in his bag, pushing his reading glasses back up his nose and he turned to walk away.

"By the way gourgeous, I play for both teams. I'd be a better teacher than you think."

Kurt stopped in his tracks, tensing for a moment in shock but not turning around. The Vice Principal smiled at him, muttering a thank you that Kurt returned with a nod and a tight lipped smile.

"See you later gorgeous!"

Kurt rushed out of the room quickly, tripping over his feet on his way out the door, sighing in relief when he was finally out of the library. He made his way quickly to his car, mind stuck on thoughts of intense hazel eyes, the smell of cigarette smoke and a cocky smile that made his stomach twist in a way Kurt could only describe as butterflies.

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><p><strong>EDIT: Im making this a full on fic. Expect more soon! <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hooray for being inspired enough to post updates! Thank you guys SO MUCH for reviewing- they're what pushed me to plan out this story and now I'm super excited to be writing it! :D**

**This chapter is sort of angsty, but don't you fear, I have this whole story planed out now to the end and there are many great things in store! Enjoy the chapter! :)**

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><p>It was like ever since that day in the library Blaine Anderson was beginning to appear everywhere Kurt looked. Kurt thought he was either going insane or being stalked because the curly haired boy seemed to always be in sight; whether it be in the corner of his eye during class, a few spaces ahead of him in the cafeteria line, brushing past him in the hallways or even exiting the bathroom when he entered.<p>

The thing that made noticing Blaine Anderson so often a bad thing was that Kurt couldn't seem to get him off his mind.

When Kurt was hungry he'd go to the cafeteria and see Blaine in line, wondering what he was going to get for lunch. When he was tired and wished he could sleep in class he imagined the countless time he'd seen Blaine do the same thing before. When a bully in the hallway tripped him he was left wondering why Blaine wasn't with them as he usually was. When he walked quickly past couples kissing in the halls, a sight that usually left him feeling uncomfortable and lonely, he'd remember Blaine's crude comments and winks and him talking about being on 'both teams'. Those memories made him feel slightly annoyed with the boy, but also like his stomach was tied a knot.

Worst of all, whenever Kurt daydreamed in class (a rare but occasional pastime) he no longer imagined Neil Patrick Harris or the cute backup dancers he liked to eye in Lady Gaga music videos, but a mysterious boy with dark curly hair and piercing hazel eyes.

Those daydreams shocked Kurt himself, leaving him confused and a bit fearful but always wanting more.

Kurt didn't know why his mind had suddenly found such a huge interest in Blaine Anderson but he wanted nothing more than for it to stop. It was very distracting from his studies, and his own thoughts were beginning to repulse him. He was daydreaming about the boy who hung out with his tormentors and spent his free time mouthing off to teachers and destroying school property. He was also the boy who was beginning to find it amusing to wink or smirk at Kurt whenever he caught his eye, leaving Kurt blushing and nervous, wishing Blaine would leave him alone. Kurt Hummel hated everything about the smug, irksome boy except for his stupidly good looks.

If Kurt weren't so timid and afraid of everyone around him he'd probably punch Blaine Anderson out. At the very least confront him. Or maybe just glare at him across a room.

So when Kurt got to his AP English class and saw that Blaine's defaced desk was blissfully empty he couldn't help but sigh quietly in relief, going to his own desk at the back of the class, pulling out his books and beginning to read. He glanced up occasionally from his reading to watch the desks fill up around him with the exception of Blaine's and the always empty desk next to himself, ready to finally learn without distraction.

The teacher began her lesson and Kurt listened carefully, taking quick notes and making references in his meticulous notes, ignoring the others around him. He was just getting around to color coding them while the teacher read a passage aloud from the book he'd already finished when the door burst open, Blaine Anderson swaggering in with a dopey smile and the usual smell of smoke.

The teacher looked up from her reading, unamused.

"Thank you for finally joining us Mr. Anderson." His teacher said this in such an annoyed voice that Kurt actually smiled. "And thank you for your disruptive entrance to the class. Please take your seat."

"Thanks for the intro Wilson." Blaine said too happily, leisurely walking across the class and sitting in his chair, putting his feet up on the desk. The teacher noticed, staring at Blaine with a quirked eyebrow. He raised his right back, eyes amused.

"Problem, Ms. Wilson?"

"Please put your feet on the floor where they belong, Mr. Anderson."

"Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm gonna stay this way. It's much more comfortable, you see."

The class began to murmur quietly, watching as Ms. Wilsons face grew flushed, eyes angry.

"That was not a suggestion Mr. Anderson, it was an order-"

"An order?" Blaine laughed out loud. "What is this, a fucking military school?"

"_Language_!" The teacher shouted, slamming her book down on the desk and walking quickly over to Blaine's. "Blaine Anderson you take your feet down now or you will be forced to leave my classroom-"

"Jeeze, okay, calm down woman." The teacher's eyes went wider, face even redder than before. Blaine put his feet on the floor, grinning at the teacher. "Happy?"

Ms. Wilson said nothing, walking away and picking her book back up. She continued to read from the text, voice shaky in what Kurt was sure was controlled rage, ignoring the occasional whisper of gossiping students around the room who were all looking between her and Blaine.

Kurt found he couldn't focus on his notes or even the text anymore, instead staring at the back of Blaine Andersons head in shock, still not believing he had actually spoken to a teacher like that and gotten away with it. The rest of the students had already grown bored of watching Blaine, choosing to listen to the teacher or play with their phones instead. Ms. Wilson continued to read, oblivious.

Kurt saw Blaine shift in his seat, placing his hand in his pocket and searching for something, the loud jingle of what Kurt was sure were keys disrupting the class but not stopping Ms. Wilson, who seemed determined to pretend Blaine wasn't there at all. Blaine finally pulled out what he was looking for- a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, the sight making Kurt open his mouth in shock.

Blaine turned around to look at the class, eyes landing on Kurt. Upon meeting Blaine's eyes Kurt blushed and bit his lip, heart pounding. Blaine winked at him and put a finger to his lips, signaling for Kurt to remain quiet. Kurt gulped, eyes still wide.

"Is everything alright back there, Mr. Hummel?"

Kurt looked away from Blaine quickly and stared at his teacher, face still flushed and wide eyed. He nodded quickly, the jerky movement causing a few kids to snicker. He heard one kid mutter "what a freak" and he bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to react.

"E-everything is fine Ms. Wilson." His voice stuttered nervously, and Kurt was pretty sure he was starting to sweat. He pushed his glasses back up his nose with a shaky hand, nervous with so many eyes judging him.

The teacher didn't seem to notice or care for his discomfort at all, going back to the text.

Kurt's eyes went back to Blaine once he was sure nobody was looking at him anymore and saw he was toying with his zippo lighter in one hand, slowly pulling out a cigarette from its case in the other. Kurt watched as Blaine flicked the lighter so it lit a flame, lighting the cigarette. Blaine took a drag, exhaling slowly in the direction of Ms. Wilson. She turned in his direction and seeing the sight of the lit cigarette she dropped her book and screamed.

Blaine jumped a bit in shock, dropping the still lit lighter so that fell on his book. The flame, however, didn't put out after it had fallen. Blaine didn't make a move to pick up and close the lighter in time before the pages caught fire, a small flame burning the pages edge. That made the teacher shriek louder than before, Kurt jumping out from his desk at the sound. Blaine was smiling and laughing as chaos broke out around the room, students laughing, cheering and yelling.

"Mr. Anderson! How could you- somebody call the principal! Pull the fire alarm-"

"Calm the fuck down!" Blaine yelled, throwing the book to the ground and stomping out the flame quickly, taking another puff of his cigarette. "It wasn't even a big fire-"

"I will not be spoken to like that in my classroom!" The teacher strode angrily across the room, heels clacking and she approached Blaine. She ripped the cigarette from his mouth, ignoring his angry shout as she broke it in half, stomping on it out under her foot once she had thrown it to the floor.

"Swearing at a teacher, swearing in class, showing up late, smoking _and_ catching fire to school property!" She rattled off, Blaine looking amused as a proud smile lit his face. "I will not have this any longer, Mr. Anderson. We are going to the principal's office _now_. I will not have you be such a destructive force in my classroom any more!"

"Oh, I'm so freaking scared." Blaine said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Don't worry Wilson, I'll escort myself to the office. I'm sure good ol' Figgy has missed me anyway."

"Get out of my classroom!" She shrieked again, Blaine laughing as he ran out of the room while lighting another cigarette, slamming the door behind him.

Ms. Wilson went on the phone to call the principal, yelling angrily into the phone as the rest of the class spoke loudly to each other in shock about what they had seen. By the sounds of it most of the class was impressed by Blaine, a majority of them not liking the teacher and saying she deserved to be spoken that way, the sight hilarious. They praised Blaine's antics, saying it was the greatest thing they'd ever seen, wishing they had filmed it. Kurt had already watched countless girls pull out their phones, the rumors probably already beginning to start around the school.

Kurt sunk back in his seat, jittery with adrenaline and excitement. He looked around the excitedly talking room as he sat by himself, ignored by his peers, left to think over what he had just witnessed alone.

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><p>Kurt walked back into AP English the next day, stomach nervous as he sat in his solitary seat and watched the students file in. Everyone showed up that day but Blaine, whose desk remained empty. Kurt's stomach dropped when he noticed the empty desk, though he was unsure why. He didn't know what he expected- he was sure Blaine was expelled and at a different school by now, if Ms. Wilson had anything to say about it. That still didn't stop the feeling in his gut that Kurt could only place as disappointment.<p>

Kurt was about to continue his reading when Ms. Wilson walked in, along with Principal Figgins and Blaine, who was smiling his usual cocky smile. The sight caused Kurt's heart to jump in a nervous way, the beat increasing when Blaine caught his eye and smiled. Kurt felt his mouth go dry, Blaine's expression looking like a predator who had just found its prey.

"Mr. Anderson, you'll be sitting in the back with Kurt Hummel today…"

Kurt bit his tongue so hard he was sure there was blood, but it was the only way he could keep his jaw from dropping. Every eye in the classroom turned to him, a majority of them snickering at his deer in headlights expression. A few kids muttered teasing remarks to Blaine that he was gonna be "stuck in the back with the fag" for the rest of the year, saying they felt sorry for him. Kurt looked down when he heard those comments, eyes stinging.

Kurt kept looking down, even when he felt Blaine sit in the seat next to his desk, leaning back in his chair and sighing. Kurt continued to read his book to himself, refusing to speak.

"Nice little set up you got back here…" Blaine murmured quietly, Kurt knowing he was the only one who would hear. They were far back enough that the teacher wouldn't hear their conversations- not that Kurt ever had any.

"A lot less talkative here then in the library, huh?" Blaine remarked, Kurt gripping the edge of his book a little harder. "I know there's a lion waiting to roar in there somewhere, gorgeous."

"Focus on the lesson, please." Kurt said quietly, peering up for a moment to see Blaine smirking. Kurt was momentarily transfixed by his eyes, which looked a shade darker than usual.

Not that he paid any attention to Blaine Andersons' eye colour or anything.

"And you don't have to?"

"I've already read the book." Kurt said, blushing a bit when he realized how nerdy he sounded. The book had only been handed out four days ago, the actual reading beginning the day before.

"Than what are you doin-"

"I'm re-reading the last book to refresh my mind for the comparative essay."

Blaine stared at him, his gaze making Kurt feel small and stupid. God, he really was a loser.

"That is really, really nerdy."

Kurt bit his bottom lip, looking down. He didn't know why his stomach had sunk, or why Blaine's opinion suddenly felt like it mattered.

"I mean there's lame, and then there's really fucking lame-"

"Mr. Anderson, please pay attention."

Blaine stopped talking then, choosing to spend the rest of the class in silence, Kurt never looking back up at him. The two of them sat in silence with Kurt pretending to read his book, thankful Blaine had chosen to stop talking to him. Kurt hoped Blaine didn't notice him blinking back tears, swallowing past the lump in his throat.

He didn't know why Blaine's comments had hurt so much. He had received far worse before, but somehow from Blaine they hurt more. Blaine was one of the only bullies who had never slushied him, who had never thrown him into a dumpster or slammed him into a locker. Blaine never really hurt anybody unless they did something to him first, a majority of his antics being practical jokes and being rude to teachers, his bullying of kids only ever being verbal. For some reason that along with Blaine actually talking to him gave him a sort of false hope that there might have actually been a nice person under those intese eyes and stupid smirk.

Kurt was also confused that while he was happy to finally be left alone again, part of him still wished Blaine would talk to him some more. No one ever spoken to him outside of muttered insults, so being directly spoke to in a classroom by someone who wasn't the teacher was a huge change. Kurt peered quickly up at Blaine, noticing he was resting his head on the desk, sleeping. Kurt looked around the room, watching as some students listened to the teacher, others whispering and sharing smiles with the partners beside them.

That was the moment Kurt realized he had never really had a friend.

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><p>"Kurt, is that you?"<p>

"It's me dad. I'm home."

Kurt put his backpack down carefully by the door, happy to finally be home. He saw his dad sitting on the couch and smiled, hugging him tightly when he saw his open arms. Kurt glanced down when they pulled away from each other, noticing the open photo albums. They were half hidden by a blanket his dad must have thrown over them on the couch. He could see some of one photo showing, half of his mothers beautiful smiling face looking up at him. He glanced back up, noticing his father already walking away and talking about the garage that day. Kurt followed his dad wordlessly into the kitchen as they began their usual nightly dinner routine. Kurt took vegetables from the fridge as his dad began to wash his hands, finishing up his story about a nasty customer.

"So how was your day buddy?"

"It was great." Kurt lied, trying his best to smile, not wanting his dad to know how tired he actually was. "I aced the biology test- Mr. Warren thinks I could be up there for the science award when I graduate if I keep my grades up."

"That's great son!" Kurt really did smile now, seeing the pride in his dad's eyes. "I'm so proud of you."

Kurt smiled wider, feeling his heart inflate in his chest.

"Oh, that reminds me. I got you something today."

His dad left the room for a moment before returning with a small box, handing it to Kurt. "I picked it up today. I was gonna save it for Christmas, but I figure you deserve something since you're doing so great in school."

Kurt opened the box slowly, heart dropping a little when he saw what was inside. A plain black bowtie covered in little globes.

"Do you like it?" His dad asked hopefully. Kurt bit his lip and nodded, forcing a smile and trying to bite back the guilty disappointment.

"Its great, dad. Thank you."

"I know how much you love clothes, and bowties are pretty cool, right?"

Kurt nodded silently, trying not to think of the trunk full of slushie stained clothes hidden in his room, a majority of them from outfits where he had worn his dad's bowties. His dad frowned, Kurt looking confused at the expression. For a moment he was scared his dad had noticed his disappointment at the gift.

"What's wrong?"

"You look tired."

Kurt blushed, shrugging.

"I-I'm fine dad…"

"I don't want you getting sick on me." Burt said playfully, but Kurt heard the strain in his voice, his eyes flickering to a picture of his mom on the wall.

"But we always cook dinner together dad-"

"Don't worry Kurt, I can handle one night on my own. Go upstairs and get some rest, okay? I'll save you a plate to eat later."

Kurt really did smile now, offering his dad a thank you before he grabbed his backpack and trudged upstairs. He closed the door to his room once inside and flopped down on his bed with a sigh. Kurt closed his eyes, breathing in and out slowly, wishing his mind could stop thinking for just one moment.

Unfortunately Kurt's mind seemed to not want to stop thinking, his many thoughts making his head spin. His lonely father, the bullies, his difficult classes, the homework in his backpack, his sick mothers face, the hidden goodbye notes in his side drawer were all screaming at him in his mind, Kurt not knowing which one to deal with first.

Kurt figured homework was the easiest one to do, as he usually ignored the others. He stifled a yawn and opened his backpack quietly, praying his father wouldn't hear him moving around his room from downstairs. He pulled out his English playbook, opening it slowly as he read in his dimly lit room.

It was quiet except for the quiet tick of the clock and the occasional turn of pages. Kurt was reading Romeo and Juliet, and play he had read countless times before to the point where he almost knew it by heart. Right now Romeo stood by Juliet's window, calling out his love for her, thinking she was as radiant as the sun, her brightness shaming the stars.

Kurt didn't realize he was crying until he saw a tear fall onto the page, blurring out the words _envious moon_ as he tossed the book down onto his bed, taking in a shuddering breath. He tried and failed to hold back the tears so instead he gave in and cried, the tears falling faster than he could wipe away. He bit his wobbling bottom lip, breath coming in gasps he tried desperately to quiet himself, looking out his window at the setting sun.

Kurt was beginning to realize more and more each day that he really was utterly alone.

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><p><strong>I feel so bad for lonely, lonely Kurt :( Maybe there's someone out there who will appease his loneliness one day…<strong>

**Reviews make Kurt happy, and updates faster! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**THIS TOOK TOO LONG AND IM SORRY**

**I feel like I say that every time I update nowadays :/ But yes, exams have killed my writing schedule and it was not fun. But my exam got cancelled today, so I had time to edit and post this. YAY! :D **

**This was going to be almost all angst like the last one, but my brain couldn't stop with the flufflyish ending, so I hope you like that…**

**Enjoy the chapter, lovelies! **

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><p>Kurt Hummel was tired, something he really couldn't afford. He had a major essay due in a few days, a pile of Biology homework in his locker, as well as three chapters worth of reading to do for History. Usually Kurt would go to the library on his spare and work so he wouldn't have as much homework, but today he just couldn't get his brain to co-operate.<p>

He felt like he was slowly falling down and couldn't get back up again. He felt so tired- physically and emotionally. He stared at the pile of work in front of him and just couldn't bring himself to pick any of it up, despite being so worried about falling behind. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep, something he hadn't done the night before.

Instead he had spent the whole night crying, re-reading the goodbye notes he had written and hidden in his dresser drawer, wondering to himself if he would ever get to the point where he would follow through with them.

Kurt picked up his books and walked out of the library quickly, the quiet place giving him too much time to think about things he usually tried to ignore. He thought maybe he could get his iPod from his locker and listen to some Broadway music or maybe a little Lady Gaga to pick his mood up when he heard something.

People were singing.

Kurt went back a few steps, standing outside the schools auditorium and listening to the faint sound of a swelling choir of voices. He opened the door slowly, slipping inside the room. The music hit him hard, the sound both beautiful and almost overwhelming. Kurt was transfixed the moment the sound hit his ears. The addicting music, the fantastic lead voices with the swell of the backup vocals behind it, along with the rough power behind it all… it made Kurt want to lift his own voice up and sing along just to be apart of the massive sound. Kurt looked to the stage to see what the beautiful music was coming from.

It was the school's Glee Club. He only knew because they had performed a few times before and that they were slushied almost as often as he was, with the exception of the Cheerios and the Jocks on the team. Kurt watched at the group began to walk around the stage in a choreographed dance, all in matching blue shirts and singing their hearts out.

"_Can anybody find me, somebody to love…"_

Kurt found himself sitting in the back of the auditorium, praying he wouldn't be noticed as he continued to watch the performance, the short girl he recognized as Rachel Berry dancing around the stage with Finn Hudson as the club danced around them.

He watched his old crush dance awkwardly around the stage, bumping into another member of the club at one point though the show continued. Kurt rolled his eyes as he watched Finn and Rachel make eyes at each other, part of him wondering how he had ever liked someone so graceless and totally _straight_.

He watched the whole performance in awe, the swelling note at the end sung by a girl he recognized as Mercedes Jones giving him chills. He wanted to stand up and applaud by the end of it, but instead he chose to slip out of the room unnoticed while the clubs director gave them their criticism. His heart was pounding hard with excitement after watching such a great performance.

Glee Club was a group Kurt envied. A whole band of misfits and losers joined together and singing their hearts out seemed like a dream come true to Kurt, but something he couldn't afford to do himself. He had his grades to keep up, his strict study schedule to maintain and he had to help his dad at the shop. He didn't have time to spend afternoons singing and dancing.

Kurt couldn't deny it wasn't something he'd enjoy. He loved to sing, he loved Broadway, and he loved to perform. When his dad went to the garage and he was left home alone with no homework he'd often spend the day dancing around his room, belting out Broadway songs at the top of his lungs. It was only when he was singing that Kurt ever felt happy and free. Music made him feel like he wasn't alone.

Kurt also thought he could sing a mean Defying Gravity, but that was just his own opinion.

Despite enjoying it so much, joining the Glee Club was something Kurt just couldn't bring himself to do. He was already a total loser, he really didn't need to add something else to the list of reasons why people should bully him. He also couldn't imagine what it might do to his father. If he spent all his time at school doing Glee his dad would be even more alone at the house, and Kurt knew how his dad secretly hated being home alone. Besides, his dad was still getting used to the whole gay thing. Kurt wasn't sure how his dad would take his secret dream of wanting to be a performer on top of that.

He also had a dream of maybe getting into fashion, but that was hidden just like the performing dream, along with the box box of Vogue magazines hidden under his bed. It was something Kurt thought his father could just never find out about. He'd just have to keep it hidden until he could get out of this town and finally figure out how to be himself.

Until then he'd have to deal with the bullying, the intense schoolwork and his awful, dorky clothing.

Kurt jumped when he felt the door bump into him, realizing he had been standing outside the auditorium the whole time and the Glee Club was leaving. Mercedes Jones was the one who had hit him, and she looked surprised to see him standing there.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you, are you okay?"

"F-fine." Kurt winced, hating his nervous stutter. Why he could just never be confident around people and talk like a normal person, he'd never know.

"We're you here for the whole song?" Kurt jumped back, Rachel Berry suddenly entirely too close. "It's always nice to have the outside opinion of someone who isn't in the club and could give us an accurate opinion of how the audience would judge our perfor-"

"Leave the poor kid alone Berry." Mercedes rolled her eyes, dragging her back as the rest of the Glee Club walked down the hallway, looking back at them curiously. "He looks like a deer caught in headlights."

Kurt winced again, biting his lower lip, unsure whether he should run away or wait to see if they would keep talking.

"Well, were you listening to our performance? Did you like it?"

The school bell suddenly rung, Kurt's eyes flickering down the hall where his locker was.

"It w-was good." Kurt muttered, though he could feel the criticism and comments bubbling up inside of him. "Finn Hudson was clumsy though and it threw off the performance. Also I'd personally go with shirts in the matching color scheme but different types to suit everybody. Generic matching t-shirts look tacky." Kurt's eyes went wide at the comments that had slipped out, almost too quickly for even himself to understand. He automatically turned around and walked down the hall without saying goodbye. He couldn't believe he had just said that. He was dorky Kurt Hummel- like he had any say in clothing or Finn Hudsons dance moves. He was mortified he had even said anything. He could practically feel Rachel Berry's eyes on him as he disappeared into the crowded hallway, cursing himself for his awkwardness.

_What's with people suddenly wanting to talk to me these days, anyways?_ Kurt thought to himself, unsure if he was scared or excited by the new change. He had never had people notice him, value his opinion, or want to talk to him about anything besides school work with the exception of his dad. He felt like he was finally being noticed, and Kurt thought it felt sort of _good_.

It wasn't until he was slammed into a locker by some laughing jocks that he remembered how invisible he really was, sliding to the ground and watching people walk past him, nobody ever wanting to offer a helping hand.

* * *

><p>"You look like hell."<p>

Kurt knew he would have rolled his eyes if he weren't so tired. Hell, he didn't even blush or feel self-conscious, too tired to react to Blaine's comments. It was the last class of the day and all he wanted to do was go home, finish his homework and sleep. Blaine sat down next to him, Kurt not looking up from where his head was resting on his desk, trying to not fall asleep but too tired to sit up and open his eyes again.

"What's wrong with you gorgeous? Late night at the gay bar?"

Kurt didn't look up, though his stomach twisted at the comment. Kurt heard what sounded like Blaine playing with a lighter, another thing Kurt was too tired to care about.

"So what- you're giving me the silent treatment today?"

"This is the second day you've sat next to me." Kurt muttered, still not looking up. "Besides- since when do we talk?"

"You kidding gorgeous? I thought we made the beginnings of a beautiful relationship that fateful day in the library."

Kurt's stomach flipped, his lips twitching into the barest of smiles.

"Yeah, you making fun of me while I watch you destroy school property and ruin your education. It's a beautiful relationship."

Blaine laughed out loud then, and Kurt peeked his eyes open to see the teacher pointedly glaring at the pair.

"Someone's talkative today."

"Shut up…" Kurt muttered, realizing that he was sort of a bitch when he was like this, too tired to put a filter on what he said or feel awkward about it afterward.

"And lets be honest." Blaine said, balancing his chair so it was leaning on only its back legs. "I've never made fun of you."

"You called me nerdy, lame _and_ a virgin, if I'm remembering it correctly."

"That wasn't making fun of you. I was just speaking the truth."

"Well, it wasn't appreciated and it hurt my feelings."

Blaine made a sound of amusement, and Kurt could practically picture the smirk that was on his face. He was still too tired to open his eyes again.

"Would you like an apology?"

Kurt peered up at him, head still resting on his crossed arms resting on the desk. He felt his glasses sliding down his nose, but didn't move to slide them back up.

"Are you even capable of an apology, Anderson?"

"I'm capable of many things, Hummel." Blaine said, eyes teasing. "I could show you some of them, if you'd like."

"I don't want to learn how to deface school desks or gain a new vocabulary of colourful swear words, thanks."

"That wasn't the lesson I had in mind…" Blaine trailed off. "I was thinking more along the lines of my supreme knowledge in sex education."

Kurt really did blush now, burying his face in his arms and not looking up.

"Awww is the little virgin blushing?"

"Shut up Anderson."

"Once again, I only speak the truth."

"And once again Anderson, I-"

"Boys, if you two do not stop talking back there I'll have to separate you." Kurt sat up now, eyes wide as he stared at the teacher. Blaine remained relaxed beside him, unaffected by her stern gaze. "You've been chattering this whole period."

"Yes Ms. Wilson." Kurt said, sinking back in his seat and blushing as everyone turned to stare at them. He looked down nervously, sliding his glasses back up his nose. Ms. Wilson went back to her lesson, the students eventually losing interest in watching them and going back to listening to the teacher.

"So, is that the first time you've ever been talked to by a teacher for being disruptive?" Blaine teased, Kurt's heart still beating a bit fast. "Glad I could break your bad classroom behavior virginity, even for something as lame as _talking_."

Kurt bit his lip, fiddling with his bowtie, not knowing what to say. Blaine snorted, shaking his head and going back to playing with his lighter, ignoring Kurt for the rest of the period.

When class was let out that afternoon, Blaine rushed out before Kurt could even turn to say goodbye. Kurt was left wondering why he felt so disappointed, and why he was left wondering when and if he'd get to talk to Blaine next.

* * *

><p>Locker slams were always worse if the door was already open. Instead of jamming into the usually smooth service (except for a few jutting locks) you hit the painful corner of the open door, or your side might hit the shelf inside, or sometimes you'd catch on the edge of the open locker on the way down to the floor.<p>

When Karofsky hit him this time, Kurt's locker was open. He clipped his shoulder on the corner of the door as he fell to the floor, the sound of Karofsky laughing echoing in the empty hallway. It was after school hours and Kurt had just left the library where he was doing homework, and apparently Karofksy was still at school late. Probably for football. Kurt's eyes stung as his shoulder throbbed painfully, aching already. He was sure this one would bruise.

"Watch where you're going loser." He said this as if Kurt were in his way, completely ignoring that fact that it was only the two of them in the wide hallway. Karofskys legs hit Kurt as he went to walk away, Kurt's glasses slipping off his face and falling to the floor loudly. Kurt picked them up quickly, putting them back on and noticing one of the lenses now had a crack. His eyes teared up again when he realized he'd have to explain it to his dad. _Perfect_.

Karofsky had apparently stopped and turned to watch Kurt, but his laughter was cut off and suddenly he was on the floor beside him. Kurt jumped and looked up only to see Blaine Anderson, looking livid as he glared down at Karofksy on the floor. Karofsky stood up quickly, practically snarling.

"What the fuck was that for dude?"

"Why the fuck are your pushing people into lockers, _dude?_" Blaine taunted back, looking equally angry. Karofsky scoffed, rolling up his sleeves.

"Its just Hummel the Homo." He said, making Kurt wince. "Nerds like him deserve it. They need to be put in their place."

"Actually, assholes like you deserve to get their asses beat and be put in _their_ place."

Karofsky glared, fists clenching.

"You wanna go, Anderson?"

"No thanks." Blaine said, smirking as he cracked his knuckles before clenching his fists, arms flexing underneath his black t-shirt. The sight made Kurt gulp. "But if you keep pushing kids like Hummel into lockers, you're gonna hear it from me."

Kurt was confused, wondering when Blaine Anderson, the jerk prankster and McKinley high bad-boy had suddenly become some sort of protector of the losers. He had never physically bullied or slusheied anyone as far as Kurt could tell, but he had never stopped his friends from doing it either.

Besides, this was a big change for Kurt. No one had ever noticed people bullying him before; hell, people never noticed _him_. He was always left feeling invisible.

Well, he had been before now. Before this week. Before _Blaine_.

Kurt watched Karofsky walk forward so he was a few feet from Blaine, shoving him back into a locker and punching his fist dangerously close to Blaine's head. Kurt jumped from where he was still kneeling on the ground, and Blaine stared at the bully emotionless.

"I don't take to kindly to being told what to do. Pushing around dweebs who are lower than me is how things work around here. That's why were at the top, and losers like him are at the bottom." Kurt winced, trying not to look at them, already shoving books rapidly in his bag in hopes that he could run away faster. "So you better watch your back Anderson, or soon you'll be the one taking slushies and locker slams with your little homo geek friend down there."

Karofsky stalked away than, Kurt wincing as he walked past him, fearful that he'd be pushed again. Kurt was still shoving pages into his bag messily, hands shaking as his mind was still trying to take in what had just happened.

"You alright Hummel?"

Kurt nodded, halting the stuffing of his backpack to look up at Blaine. His frantic fearful thoughts stopped momentarily, noticing how Blaine's usual smirk and teasing eyes were gone. His usually cocky and strong demeanor Kurt had always seen was gone now. Right now he looked concerned. Almos gentle and afraid.

Kurt stood up, his eyes tearing up and making everything blurry. He took off his broken glasses, wincing as the movement hurt his shoulder. His heart sunk when he looked down at the cracked lenses, but knew he'd be fine for walking home since he technically only needed them to see things far away. Kurt tried to put them in his backpack but his hands were still shaking, the glasses falling back to the floor. Blaine picked them up, putting them in the front pocket of Kurt's bag for him. Kurt gulped.

"Your hands are shaking." Blaine muttered once he had finished, reaching to hold Kurts hands steady in his own. Kurt's heart jumped, stomach erupting in what felt like butterflies. He looked at Blaine's face and noticed his eyes still looked sad and far-away.

"Cold hands..." Blaine muttered, squeezing Kurt's gently. Kurt almost wanted to mutter "_yours too_" but he was still in shock, mouth unable to form words because his mind was still stuck on thinking _Blaine Anderson stuck up for me and is now concerned and holding my hands oh my god_.

"You have freckles too…" Blaine almost whispered it, looking transfixed. Kurt blushed, knowing there were a few speckled faintly along the bridge of his nose and cheeks, only noticeable up close. Kurt thought he might have heard Blaine whisper "_gorgeous_" but was sure it was just his imagination, mind fuzzy since Blaine was standing so close to him and still holding his hands. Blaine seemed to be moving in closer, making Kurt's heart pound.

"Thanks for sticking up for me." Kurt finally muttered, blue eyes meeting Blaine's hazel which were only inches away. "N-nobody ever sticks up for me."

"Nobody should have to put up with that crap." Blaine said, letting go of Kurt's hands that were now shaking for an entirely different reason. Kurt looked down nervously, suddenly wishing he wasn't wearing his stupid tucked in dress shirt and nerdy bow tie. Blaine looked up at Kurt again, but his sad expression was gone. Now he just looked emotionless. Kurt raised an eyebrow in question but Blaine was walking away without saying another word. Kurt watched from his locker as Blaine lit a cigarette and stalked out of the school, not looking back.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews would mean the world to meeeeee! :D<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hooooray for updates! You guys are gonna hate me this one and I know it, but I hope you enjoy it anyways!**

* * *

><p>Kurt woke up gasping, images of intense hazel eyes and a fluttering feeling in his stomach slowly fading away. His heart was pounding, and he still felt a bit out of breath. Kurt shifted to sit up, noticing he was shaking and he felt- oh. Sticky.<p>

Kurt's stomach flipped, his face flushing. He rarely had any of _those_ dreams; usually it was nightmares or nothing. Kurt thought back to his dream and blushed even harder when he realized who it had been about.

"Kurt! You up yet?"

Kurt heard the footsteps starting up the stairs and panicked.

"I-I'm up dad. I'm just… I need to shower."

The footsteps stopped, Kurt sighing in relief.

"Make it quick, or the pancakes are gonna be cold."

"Ten minutes tops!" Kurt shouted out, standing up and wincing, walking gingerly to the bathroom connected to his bedroom. He peeled off his ruined pants and briefs and threw them in his hamper, momentarily thankful he did his own laundry. He turned on and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash over him as he began to think.

Kurt was beginning to realize he had it _bad_. He had spoken to Blaine Anderson for about a week, and he was already beginning to make his heart race whenever he thought of him and now he was making him dream _those_ dreams. Kurt was obsessed; it seemed like all he could think of these days was the boys' curly hair and hazel eyes, remembering how beautiful he had looked when Blaine was standing so close to him on Friday.

Kurt shivered, remembering Blaine's sympathetic eyes, his gentle hands, the way he looked at Kurt like he was more than just some loser. He thought back to when he thought he had heard Blaine whisper "gorgeous" and tired to remember if it had really happened. He knew Blaine called him that all the time to make him nervous, but yesterday it had been different.

Yesterday Kurt almost believed Blaine might have meant it.

Kurt cut off the water, stepping out of the shower and toweling off his body, looking at himself in the mirror. Kurt didn't really like his body. He wished he had stronger arms so he could defend himself better; bigger muscles so he'd appear manly. Instead he was stuck with skinny arms and legs and an unimpressive torso, fleshy hips and a feminine face. To top it all off he was pale as a ghost and had boring brown hair he wished he had the product to style, but instead he always left it down and plain.

Kurt frowned, looking away. He was really nothing special, and definitely _not_ gorgeous.

Than again why should he matter what Blaine thought anyway? It wasn't like Blaine was interested. If anything he was probably making up Fridays events in his head, or making something out of nothing. Blaine's meaningful looks and the handholding meant nothing. He was only setting himself up for defeat if he believed anything else.

"Kurt? Are you coming? We gotta head to the garage soon!"

"Coming Dad!" Kurt called in reply, trying to ignore the way his voice quivered.

* * *

><p>"You hungry?"<p>

"I'm fine dad." Kurt tried to smile, continuing to type in a few orders online for his dad's garage, sliding his glasses up his nose. They were his spare pair, and though they were dorkier looking than his broken frames, Kurt was just grateful he could see again. Burt frowned, crossing his arms

"You barely ate this morning." Burt noted. Kurt sighed, looking up at his father.

"I said I'm fine, Dad."

"You need to eat. It's not healthy to not eat and I don't want you getting sick-"

"I'll have a granola bar." Kurt figured it was best to appease his father, taking a bar from a box on the shelf in his dad's office. The worried look didn't leave his fathers face until Kurt bit into the bar, forcing himself to swallow.

"Happy?"

Burt sighed.

"Drink some orange juice or something too, please." He said, leaving the office as another car pulled in. Kurt put the granola bar down, not planning on eating anymore. He looked out the window wistfully, vaguely watching the old, rickety car pull into his fathers shop. The larger part of his mind was imagining Blaine. Kurt pictured Blaine being there in jeans and his leather jacket, black hoodie up, getting out and leaning against it looking bored but still so sexy and _bad_…

It was than that Kurt realized he wasn't daydreaming.

Kurt sat up in the desk, squinting his eyes and gasping, ducking down under the desk when Blaine looked in the direction of the office.

_Holy crap…_ Kurt thought, heart pounding. _Blaine Anderson is in my fathers shop and he looks sexy as hell._

Kurt got up from under the desk when he heard a knock on the window, peeking up from behind it. One of the mechanics was beckoning for him to come, looking at little confused as to why Kurt was hiding under a desk. Kurt winced, looking down. He had been working on cars earlier so he was still in his jumpsuit, face sweaty and marked with grease from where he had scratched his face while working. Kurt took off his glasses, brushed his hair back so it was sticking up and away from his face and made the walk of shame outside the office, praying Blaine wouldn't notice him looking so dirty.

The mechanic walked him to his father, who was talking to what looked like Blaine's mother. Blaine perked up when he saw Kurt, scanning his body up and down, eyes wide. Kurt winced. Blaine probably thought he looked as gross as he felt.

"Kurt, wanna look over this engine with me?"

Kurt nodded, trying to avoid Blaine's gaze and how he was blushing as he bent over the car, looking under the hood. He frowned, noticing how bad the engine was. He was surprised the car was even running. He peeked away from the engine for a minute and scanned the cars body, noticing it wasn't any better. The entire car was old and dying, covered in rust. Kurt's only suggestion was to just replace the car and get a new one, but didn't know how to say that. The only explanation he could come up with as to why this family was still driving this car was that they couldn't afford anything else.

He looked at the woman who owned the car; Blaine's mother. She looked so tired and worried, standing off to the side and tapping her foot impatiently. Burt nudged for Kurt to come back and muttered that the whole engine was pretty much done. Kurt nodded in agreement, knowing his dad was right.

"Looks like this engine is pretty rough, Misses…"

"Anderson." The woman said. Kurt's eyes flickered over to Blaine who was staring at the ground, eyes still wide. Kurt couldn't help but notice the look in his eyes. He looked almost… panicked.

"So can you fix it?"

"Its not that simple. I think the best option is to replace the whole engine, and that's not even including all the work you need done on the body…" Burt began to talk with Mrs. Anderson about money, arguing prices. Kurt glanced over to Blaine again, taking in the leather jacket that made his stomach flip. Blaine finally looked up and Kurt tried to smile, but Blaine refused to meet his eyes staring at the ground again.

"I'm sorry Miss, I can't lower the price. We can work out a payment plan-"

"What don't you understand about us not having money?" Blaine's mother snapped, looking livid. Kurt saw Blaine wince. Burt looked sad and was about to speak again when suddenly Blaine opened the cars door, pulling out a skateboard from the backseat.

"Blaine?" Kurt found himself questioning. Blaine didn't look up at him, and Mrs. Anderson paid her son no mind as he took off on the board and out of the shop. Kurt frowned, biting his bottom lip. He watched the boy disappear from the street, his dad and Blaine's mom still arguing costs behind him.

* * *

><p>Blaine was trying to board as fast as he could, heart pounding out of his chest. Why did he decide to go to the stupid shop with his mom? It was just supposed to be a boring Saturday. That is until his mom came in, blabbing his ear off about needing a ride to the store to get groceries.<p>

Blaine scoffed, going faster on the skateboard. Its not like they had money for many groceries. He knew she was just going to spend it on cigarettes and booze.

But Blaine had agreed, because he was the only one who knew how to drive and relished in any opportunity to actually use the car. It was all going as planned until the car broke down, refusing to drive any father. They hadn't even made it half way to the store before it had stopped.

It was only a matter of time anyway. Blaine knew the car was a piece of garbage. He walked three blocks to find a payphone to call a tow for the car, taking them to the nearest garage.

He just hadn't expected Hummel Tire and Lube to have anything to do with _him_.

Dorky Kurt Hummel. The pale kid with the lame clothes, suspenders and bowties. The geek who spent his lunches doing homework because no one in the cafeteria would sit with him. The kid who Blaine saw get slushied almost daily.

He was also the kid whose eyes were the bluest Blaine had ever seen. The boy with beautiful smattering of freckles across his delicate nose, that couldn't be seen unless you really looked. The boy who blushed beautifully whenever he was noticed or spoken to. The boy with the shy, tentative smile, and an unmatchable wit when you could get it out of him.

He was also, for some reason, a boy who Blaine couldn't deny was beautiful.

And apparently sexy.

To be fair Blaine had been caught off guard. He had never seen Hummel without his adorable glasses before and _damn_, what a difference it made. It took off a whole level of adorable dork and replaced it with something else entirely. That, matched with the tight fitting jump suit, grease smatters, sexy sheen of sweat and pushed back hair had Blaine's heart pounding and stomach fluttering.

Hummel was sexy. Undeniably so.

Blaine had always thought Kurt was kind of cute in a dorky away, and recently kind of cute had turned to adorable, charming, beautiful and intriguing but _damn_. Blaine felt like he needed to grab hold of something so he wouldn't fall over. His palms were actually shaking and he felt… nervous. Like some stupid blushing teenager noticing girls for the first time. Or in his case, boys.

But this was different, because it was Kurt. The school dork, and not to mention a _guy_. Sure, Blaine had said the offhand comment for some stupid reason in the library (a lie, since Blaine really only played for one team and it was definitely the male one) but he really wasn't ready to be… out. Not again. Not after what had happened last time.

He had a reputation to uphold. It was the only thing he had left… the only thing that kept him safe.

Blaine swallowed hard, panting as he rest against the side of the convenience store, finally stopping his crazy skate boarding getaway. He gasped for breath, shaking his head. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the image of Kurt bending over his car out of his mind. Even when he scolded himself for being such a perv the image was replaced with one of Kurts soft smile and bright blue eyes.

* * *

><p>Kurt was staring out the window of his English class, leaning his head against his hand, already finished the class work with nothing left to do. He turned away from the window, looking at the empty seat beside him and wishing Blaine were there.<p>

Kurt hadn't seen Blaine since the incident in his dads shop, which still made him squirm in seat. It was weird. Friday after school Blaine was holding his hand, whispering gorgeous, and Saturday suddenly he's avoiding eye contact and running away. Kurt wondered what had done it. Did he really look that bad in a jumpsuit?

_Maybe he liked it…_ A small voice seemed to say in his mind. _Maybe he thought you looked good. Maybe you made _him_ the nervous one. _

The idea shocked Kurt, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that could be true.

Blaine had been talking to Kurt more and more recently. And of course, his usual nickname for Kurt was always "gorgeous", but what if Blaine actually meant it? He had even stuck up for Kurt when Karofsky knocked him down, and followed that by holding Kurt's hands, asking if he was okay and staring into his eyes…

Kurt stomach lurched, and suddenly he felt like he wanted to jump up in class and squeal or maybe even sing. It was an impossible idea, something Kurt never thought would happen while he was in High School, but thinking it over himself it seemed the only answer. Somebody actually _liked_ Kurt.

And that somebody was Blaine Anderson.

* * *

><p>Blaine glared down at the piece of paper, not knowing what to write and knowing he wasn't going to anyways. The worst they could do was give him more detentions, and at this rate Blaine didn't even care that he had one nearly every day after school until the summer months finally came. He sighed, tapping the pencil they had given him against the desk.<p>

All he wanted was to do was get his good skateboard from his locker since he had left it at school and was stuck riding his crappy old one places all weekend. He had skipped school all day, but thought it would be no problem going in, getting his board and leaving.

He didn't expect stupid Principal Figgins to spot him in the hallways and drag him to the library with the help of some buff History teacher.

Now Blaine was stuck in the Library again, board on the ground under his desk, and forced to write at least one page on why he hadn't come to school today, and why he'd never try to skip or gain detentions again.

Blaine rolled his eyes at the mediocre punishment, sitting back in his chair and ignoring the paper. The buff teacher who was set to watch him narrowed his eyes across the library, noticing that Blaine still hadn't written anything. Blaine smirked, wondering what he was going to do about it, and not caring for the consequences.

Blaine sat drifting off instead, thinking of his weekend. All he had really done was buy some cigarettes from his friend and than he had to take his mom to the stupid garage for their shitty car…

Blaine's stomach lurched when he remembered the garage, remembered _Kurt_, his heart beating funny in his chest. He remembered seeing Kurt sweaty and grease stained, bending over the car in that tight jumpsuit…

Blaine swallowed hard, trying to shake off the daydream. Now was no time to get hard over Kurt Hummel in the school library.

Blaine hated Kurt for being so stupidly good looking and charming yet so dorky. Blaine could never go out with him, no matter how hot he thought he was. He had to cut Kurt out of his life and out of his fantasies _ASAP_, because there was no way Blaine was bringing down his rep by dating somebody everyone else thought was a loser.

He'd just have to stick to girls and keep up his badboy act until after high school. Maybe once high school was over he would finally be able to breathe and figure out what the hell was going on with him inside instead of ignoring his feelings like he usually did…

The library door opened and Blaine looked up, watching Kurt stumble in. Blaine gulped, stomach dropping. It was Kurt, wearing dress pants and dress shoes, matched with a dorky knit sweater vest, a short sleeve white dress shirt and another bowtie. He was walking with his head buried in a book, overstuffed backpack slung over his shoulder, stumbling down the stairs as he refused to look away from the page. Kurt almost tripped on the last step and squeaked, looking around the room wildly to see if anyone noticed, blushing. Blaine sighed

Dammit, why did he have to be so dorky and adorable?

Kurt's eyes suddenly landed on Blaine and he blushed, closing the book and walking towards the library tables. Blaine saw Kurt's intent to sit next to him so he quickly swung his legs up, resting them on the chair beside him. Kurt looked confused, but chose to sit in the desk in front of Blaine instead. Blaine swore softly, wondering why there couldn't be a separate detention room, or somewhere else where there were tables in their library, so Kurt didn't have to sit in front of him. Stupid school.

Blaine looked up at the history teacher who was supposed to be watching him, noticing his leg was jittering up and down as he squirmed in his seat. Blaine scoffed. Apparently someone had to go to the bathroom…

"Mr. Hummel can you watch Mr. Anderson for a moment? I know it's a lot to ask-"

"Don't worry sir, you haven't been the first one to ask." Kurt said with a smile. Blaine rolled his eyes. "Of course you can go. I'll keep him in line."

Blaine's heart jumped as he watched the teacher leave the library, leaving Kurt and him alone.

"So where were you today…" Kurt began talking the instant the door closed, turning around in his chair so he was facing Blaine. "Seems kind of funny to skip class but show up for detention."

Blaine looked down at the table, not knowing how to answer. He began counting the lines on the sheet of paper in front of him, trying to ignore Kurt. There was an uncomfortable silence, and Blaine knew Kurt was probably blushing or squirming nervously right now. Hell, that's what Blaine was doing inside.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kurt suddenly asked. Blaine wanted to laugh, a comment about thinking of Kurt bending over his car on the tip of his tongue because he knew saying it would make Kurt blush. But Blaine held back, wondering if saying that would reveal too much.

Why did things have to be so complicated?

"Uhmm, so why were you at my dads garage?" Kurt asked. "I mean- obviously you were there because of your car, but why did you run off so quickly? You seemed sort of… freaked."

Blaine swallowed hard, still counting the lines. _11… 12… 13… 14… 15… _

"I-I'm beginning to get that you're giving me the silent treatment…" Kurt sounded sad, and it made Blaine heart ache. "I don't understand why or what I did. Or maybe you're just teasing me again to make me feel as awkward and embarrassed as possible as you always do… Should I stop talking? Maybe I should just stop talking. I think I'm just gonna stop talking. Although, you could make this less awkward by finally talking-"

"Stop talking." Blaine finally said, unable to take much more of Kurt's endearing, nervous rambling. Blaine finally looked up, noticing Kurt's blushing face, his bright blue eyes behind the glasses frames. He was close enough for Blaine to notice his freckles again. Blaine had the sudden urge to trace the gentle curve of Kurt's nose with his finger tips, following the trail of freckles. His skin looked very soft.

_Stop it Blaine…. _He thought to himself, swallowing. This was getting bad. Why did Kurt have to be so… so…

"Beautiful."

"Y-you think I'm beautiful?" Kurt gasped softly, making Blaine nearly fall out of his chair.

Holy shit he had said it out loud. _Stupid stupid stupid…._

"I- I didn't-"

"Y-you said I'm beautiful." Kurt was smiling this wide, toothy smile that made Blaine's heart want to burst. "No ones ever called me beautiful-"

"I didn't say you were beautiful." Blaine tried to sound harsh and tougher than he felt, realizing he had to stop this and _fast_. "You're imagining things. Geeze, you really need to get your head out of your stupid gay fairytales, Hummel."

Kurt's face dropped, and Blaine's heart broke a little.

"W-what?"

"I mean look at you." Blaine swallowed nervously, though he rolled his eyes for effect. "You're a total geek. A loser."

"B-but I thought…"

"You thought what?" Blaine said, standing up and grabbing his board. Every word physically hurt to say, and Blaine hated himself more and more as the conversation went on. "That I said you were _beautiful_?" Blaine scoffed. "You probably think I like you or something too now, huh?"

Kurt winced as he looked down, bottom lip wobbling. Blaine hoped Kurt didn't look up from where he was staring at the ground, or else he'd notice the tears gathered in Blaine's eyes.

"News flash Hummel. Guys like me, don't date guys… especially not guys like you."

"But Blaine…"

"Just stay away from me." Blaine said finally, close to tears though his voice remained strong. "Were never gonna be more than this, okay?" His voice strained, a lump forming in his throat. "You're just the geek who sits next to me in English, and I'm the guy who doesn't give a shit about anybody. The closest we'll ever be is on opposite ends of a slushie. Got that?"

Blaine watched Kurt nod dejectedly, staring at the ground. Blaine stalked out of the library, finally letting tears fall, not knowing it was possible to hate himself more than he did now.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Kurt ran out of the library's emergency exit, noticing Blaine skateboarding around a corner of the street and out of sight. He finally let the tears fall, sobbing as he fell to the ground, curling in on himself.<p>

He hated himself. He hated himself for convincing himself Blaine liked him. He hated himself for getting close to someone, especially someone like Blaine, who was only ever gonna hurt him in the end. He hated himself for being so naive. He hated himself for not being good enough, for not having friends, for being such a loser. He hated himself for being gay, wishing he could just be normal like everyone else. He hated himself for being so weak, for crying, for having his heart broken.

The reasons why this was his fault just kept pouring into his minds, making Kurt cry harder. He felt like his heart was being ripped in two.

Kurt sobbed harder, the harsh part of his mind telling him to get used to this feeling, because he should have known by now there would never be a happy ending.

He would always be alone in the end.

* * *

><p><strong>… Don't hate me.<strong>

**I feel SO BAD because I know all of you guys enjoyed the fluff and were super duper excited for the update and you were expecting gay love and rainbows and fluffy fluff fluff and them getting closer but I **_**promise**_**, this isn't the end of Klaine…**

**Blaine just has… all these feels. And he reacts by running away from them. And of course poor Kurt is always heartbroken, and we can only hope he doesn't react to this too badly. **

**So anyways, yes. I'm sorry. But things will turn around in the future… in the mean time reviews would make my day. If you have any ideas for this fic, please share them with me! You can leave a review, or send me an ask on my tumblr (somethingfandomrelated)**

**Thanks for reading! Ill try to update as quick as I can!**


	5. Chapter 5

**TRIGGER WARNING****: I know this ruins the intro but I need to warn you guys, there is a scene dealing with ****SUICIDE**** right in the beginning. It's the first cut of the story. If you'd like you can skip over it and Ill let you know what happened in that cut in the ending authors note. **

**Once again, THERE IS A TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE. **

**I STRONGLY ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ IT IF YOU THINK IT MIGHT TRIGGER YOU.**

**Now, on to the update… **

* * *

><p>The only sounds heard in the empty house were the steady tick of the clock sounding quietly from the kitchen, and the scratch of a pen against the paper. Other than that there was silence.<p>

Kurt sat in his bedroom alone, writing with a shaking hand. Tears kept falling from his eyes, blurring the ink on the page where they fell but Kurt wrote on, ignoring them. It's not like anyone would care what the letter said anyways. Really, it was just a final action. The last thing Kurt ever planned on writing.

His father wasn't home tonight. Kurt had no idea where he was, but found he didn't care. All he knew was that this was finally the perfect time to go through with his plans, because there was nobody around to stop him.

…_I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, Dad. Know that it's not your fault and there's nothing you could have done. I just can't do this anymore. I'm not strong enough. Don't feel sad that I'm gone. Just move on._

_I will love you always, _

_Kurt_

The pen clattered from Kurt's hand to the desk, his eyes scanning over the letter. Than his gaze fell on the plastic baggie of pills sitting next to it.

Kurt swallowed, picking them up.

They were sleeping pills. He had them prescribed right after his mothers death, back when the nightmares were so bad he couldn't sleep through the night. The pills had helped, offering dreamless sleep. Soon Kurt had stopped taking them, the nightmares only occasional, but he still had a nearly full bottle left over. He had told his dad he had finished the last of the pills when he stopped taking them and gave his father the empty container.

His dad didn't known that Kurt had stashed the pills away when the depression started, keeping them hidden in his drawer amongst his other goodbye letters and old report cards. He never planed on taking them, but he liked them there as a comforting thought. That if things ever got too bad, he had that option.

And tonight he was finally going to go through with it.

Kurt opened the plastic bag, reaching inside to grab a handful of pills. He brought his glass of water closer to him, the pills sitting in the palm of his sweating hand.

He lifted his hand to his mouth, ready to take them.

Than he caught sight of the photo on his bedside table, his happy seven-year-old self sitting on his mothers lap, the two of them smiling.

Kurt dropped the pills, just making it to the washroom before he was throwing up in the toilet, tears streaming down his face as he retched.

Kurt sobbed out loud once he was done, the sound close to one of agony as he pulled at his hair, crying harder.

He couldn't do it. He wasn't strong enough to end his own life.

Kurt lay sobbing in the bathroom, curled up on the tiled floor alone.

* * *

><p>He felt like his dress shirt was chocking him. Kurt unbuttoned the top button after closing his locker, pulling his backpack up and over his shoulder. It was way after school hours, and as usual Kurt was alone.<p>

He decided to walk the empty halls of the school, traveling up and down the hallways at random. He stumbled a bit, constantly yawning and rubbing his eyes. He hadn't slept at all the night before. Hell, he hadn't slept at all since that day with Blaine in the library, leading to that night in the bathroom. Kurt had taken a huge blow when Blaine rejected him, and it had left him reeling. It was like he had been pushed down a flight of stairs after finally getting close to the top. Like Blaine had offered him a hand of comfort and hope, and than snatched it back before Kurt even knew what was happening. He was beginning to break down again, everything he usually tried to ignore finally catching up with him. He felt like he was drowning, barely keeping afloat and barely breathing.

Of course, nobody noticed. But it's not like they ever did.

Kurt had turned a corner when he heard it. It was the muffled sounds of singing. Somebody was warming up their voice. He walked past the glee room, noticing the whole club was in there, the small Rachel Berry standing in the front of the room practicing scales.

Kurt looked into the room, watching the group of students sing together, their voices swelling with each different note. Occasionally someone would mess up and they club would laugh it off, playfully teasing each other. Mercedes ended up belting out a beautiful note, bowing playfully at the end as the club cheered her on. Kurt stared at the scene in longing, fiddling with his shirt collar.

Kurt realized in the back of his mind that if they were all practicing in there, it meant the Auditorium was empty.

Before he had even realized what he was doing he was walking down the hallway quickly, entering the auditorium and going up on the stage. He stood on the dimly lit stage, looking out at the empty seats. Kurt imagined a sea of people standing there, cheering his name as he bowed, congratulating him on his big debut.

His heart beat faster, a sudden thrill of excitement running through him at the impossible idea.

Kurt began to pace back and forth slowly, relishing in the opportunity to even stand on a stage. There was something soothing about it. Being alone in such a massive, empty space. He felt like he finally had room to think, room to breathe. Kurt continued pacing, his mind occasionally picturing a large crowd. When he got to the right side however he saw a small white box on the ground, sort of like a converter, with one red button topped with a gold star.

Kurt pushed it, yelping out loud when a single spotlight suddenly lit the center stage. He looked around the room nervously, making sure he was still alone before he walked towards it, standing under the light.

He wanted to sing. Kurt blushed to himself, knowing the idea was stupid and dumb but really, what did he have to lose? The auditorium was empty, the Glee Club didn't have the room booked today (he had check the schedule on the door before coming in) and hell, it was a mini dream of his. Its not like he had anything to stop him.

Kurt sighed, glancing around nervously before he closed his eyes, heart beating fast in nervous excitement. He began to imagine music, the soft swell of it in his mind filling his thoughts. Kurt was already sweating a bit under the spotlight as he finally began to sing, voice wavering.

"_I dreamed a dream in time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living… _

_I dreamed that love would never die... I dreamed that God would be forgiving." _

Kurt swallowed, his voice growing louder as he stood there and sang.

"_Than I was young and unafraid, and dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid, no song unsung no wine untasted…_

_But the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder…"_

Kurt opened his eyes now, staring out into the empty seats, swallowing a lump in his throat as he sang on.

"_As they tear your hope apart, as they turn your dreams to shame…"_

Kurt fought back tears, trying to ignore the thoughts rapidly appearing in his mind. Still, he couldn't help but think of Blaine, the cruel kids at school, of his dad, his mom… all the things he thought of yesterday when he sat curled and crying in the bathroom, pills littering his bedroom floor.

His voice grew even louder, the music swelling in his mind as he pictured Blaine's face, and everything he had said that day in the library, the pain still fresh in his mind.

"_And still I dream he'll come to me, that we will live the years together."_

Kurt chocked up a bit, still fighting tears.

"_But there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storm's we cannot weather."_

Kurt felt a tear roll down his cheek, closing his eyes as he continued to sing, heart nearly bursting out of his chest as the emotion coursed through him. He sang with more power than he ever had before.

"_I had a dream my life would be, so different from this hell I'm living. So different now from what it seemed…"_

Kurt's voice grew soft, tears rolling freely down his face.

"_Now life has killed the dream I dreamed_…"

Kurt looked out at the empty audience, tears rolling silently down his cheeks. He had done it. He had sung in the spotlight on a stage, just him alone. A song that had come up out of nowhere, moving him to tears. Kurt let out a shaky breath, panting. He had to admit, singing like that felt _really_ good, even if it made him think of the things that hurt the most.

"That was beautiful."

Kurt spun around quickly, jumping when saw somebody standing behind him. It was Mercedes Jones, the really talented girl in glee club who had sung the breathtaking note at the end of Somebody To Love. She stood alone, smiling softly as Kurt stared at her, eyes wide with fear.

"Don't worry, it's just me. I forgot my sheet music in here from last week so I came here to get it, but I stuck around when I heard you singing."

Kurt was still just staring at her, heat pounding. The idea that she had been there and heard him made him want to throw up. Suddenly he was aware of the wetness on his cheeks and he wiped his eyes quickly, hoping she hadn't seen him crying.

The sad look in her eyes told him otherwise.

"You're really very talented. A countertenor. That makes you pretty unique."

Kurt wanted to say thank you, but he felt like he couldn't speak.

"So who was the song about?"

Kurt paled, shaking his head. Mercedes smiled softly.

"I know it was about someone. I mean… you're crying …"

"I-it was about nobody." Kurt finally stammered out, heart pounding. "I was just… just singing."

"You don't have to be afraid, Kurt." Mercedes said, walking closer. Kurt quirked an eyebrow up in confusion, taking a step back.

"What are you talking-"

"I see you all the time. You're always… well, you're always alone."

Kurt swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling his eyes tear up. He wished he could just disappear.

"And I don't know who that song was about but it was one hell of a solo you just sang. And people don't sing songs like that when they don't have a meaning behind it."

Kurt stared down at the ground, not knowing what to say.

"I could help you." Mercedes said, smiling. "You know, with your… troubles. If you want someone to talk to."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Kurt finally asked, feeling suddenly angry. Who did Mercedes think she was? Did Kurt really look like some charity case? Some lonely, geeky gay kid who was willing to take friendship from anyone who offered? Kurt stared at Mercedes with narrowed eyes, who shrugged.

"Because I know what it's like being the outcast." She said, and Kurt felt his eyes tear up again, the mixture of frustration and sadness at his loneliness all combining at once. However he refused to let the tears fall, keeping his eyes narrowed as he listened. "It sucks. And everybody deserves a friend, Kurt. Even you."

"How do you know if I even want to be friends with you?" Kurt practically hissed. He even surprised with himself with how hostile he was being.

"I don't." Mercedes said truthfully, stepping closer hesitantly until they were side by side.

"Wanna go get coffee?"

The question came as a complete shock to Kurt, who was expecting her to just leave and never speak to him again. Kurt wasn't sure if he could speak but he found himself nodding in agreement before he could even think to do otherwise, nervously walking with Mercedes out of the auditorium.

* * *

><p>"So, who was it about?"<p>

Kurt looked up at Mercedes over his hot chocolate (he had never gotten coffee before, and he wasn't about to start that addiction now) and bit his bottom lip, contemplating. He was still waiting for the punch line. Maybe the Glee Club was going to come out and slushie him, or maybe Mercedes was looking for some gossip on the gay kid to make fun of him for. The theories as to why Mercedes was talking to him kept rapidly appearing. No one ever talked to Kurt unless they were insulting him or asking him about homework. And even if she did want to be his friend, it hurt to think he looked as desperate for friendship as he was.

The only person who had really talked to him ever was Blaine, and that hadn't worked out well. When you got close to people, it gave them the power to hurt you. And Kurt wasn't about to go down that path again.

_Than why the hell did you agree to coffee?_ Part of his mind argued, Kurt trying to ignore it.

"Nobody." Kurt finally said, cradling his cup between his hands. "I told you."

"You need to stop lying to me pretty boy."

Kurt winced at the nickname, remembering how some jocks in the locker room had called him that once before locking him in a closet. He had been there for an hour before Coach Bieste found him.

"Are you alright?" Mercedes asked quietly. "You seem… tense."

Kurt was still chewing his bottom lip, unable to meet her eyes.

"I just…" Kurt sighed, figuring he might as well be honest. Even if he came off as weird, its not like he had any kind of reputation to uphold. "I don't trust you."

Mercedes frowned, looking hurt.

"Oh."

"Im sorry." Kurt whispered, wishing he could just pay her back for the drink and go home.

"Can I ask why?"

Kurt looked down, glasses sliding down his nose a bit.

"I just… I'm waiting for the punch line. Nobody ever talks to me unless it's an insult or about homework or something. I'm just waiting for the Glee Club to come out and slushie me, or maybe you're looking for something to make fun of me for. Plus, it kind of hurts to think I look so desperate for friends that you think I'd befriend anyone just because they offered. No offense."

"I understand." Mercedes said, making Kurt look up in confusion. "I mean really, you get bullied daily and people are horrible to you all the time. If anyone has the right to take time before they trust somebody, I think it's you." Kurt nearly chocked on his mouthful of hot chocolate. "And for the record, I'm not trying to be your friend because I think you look desperate for one. I just think everyone needs somebody to lean on, and I sort of know what it is you're going through."

"W-what?" Kurt stuttered, eyes wide. She smiled.

"Like I said, I know what its like. I was an outcast too. Nearly everyone who talked to or about me made fun of me for my weight or my skin, and the people who were nice to me always ended up stabbing my back or hurting me in the end. It hurts." Kurt stared at her with wide eyes. "When it happens to you enough, you begin to not trust people. It's easier to just be alone."

Kurt took another sip of his drink, nodding. That's exactly how he felt.

"I just don't understand why you want to befriend me." He said. "I mean, look at me."

"What's wrong with how you look?" She huffed, crossing her arms.

Kurt rolled his eyes, wanting to laugh out loud.

"I'm a geek, Mercedes." He said bluntly. She frowned.

"So just cause you're smart and dress the way you do you're a geek?"

"My girly voice and the fact that I'm gay don't help much either."

Kurt suddenly clapped a hand over his mouth; unable to believe he had said it out loud. Mercedes however, seemed unfazed by the comment.

"Kurt, in High School you just have to be yourself. If this is you, you need to rock it."

Kurt's mind was still reeling over the fact that she said nothing about the fact that he was gay. He eyed the cross necklace on her neck warily, wondering if she was just keeping it inside. She noticed and rolled her eyes.

"I don't care if you're gay." She said. "Love is love."

"Okay this makes no sense." He said. "You give great advice, understand how I feel, and don't care about the fact that I'm a total loser _and_ gay. Where the hell did you come from?"

Mercedes really did laugh out loud now, head tipped back in laughter. Kurt blushed, realizing how stupid his silly rant sounded out loud.

"Oh honey, who knows. Maybe we're meant to be. Friendship Soulmates."

Kurt grinned, a warm feeling blooming in his chest.

"Maybe." He said softly, smiling a genuine smile. She smiled back.

"So tell me Kurt Hummel, what other Broadway shows do you like? Cause you just rocked an acapella Les Miz number back there and I want to know what else I can convince you to sing."

Kurt hesitantly mentioned the Wicked playlist on his iPod and soon they were chattering happily about the musicals they dreamed of seeing. As the conversation went on Kurt forgot his former doubt in Mercedes altogether, never wanting the feeling of talking with a friend to stop.

* * *

><p>With Mercedes help, Kurt was really beginning to turn around.<p>

He couldn't remember the last time he had been so happy. For the first time ever he had someone to wave to across the hallway between classes, someone to text while doing homework, and someone he could finally be himself around. The two talked about almost everything; Kurt shared his closet love of pop music, Broadway and even showed Mercedes his secret stash of Vogue magazines under his bed. Mercedes told Kurt all about her own love of fashion, shared her favorite music, and told him about the drama in the Glee Club. Sometimes she would even join him in the library during lunch to do homework, and a few times she had even gotten Kurt to stop working and hang out in the empty Glee Room, singing random bits of musical numbers together and laughing.

Of course, Kurt kept some things from her. He never spoke a word about his troubles with his overbearing father, his mother's death, or the suicide issues. He especially never told her about Blaine.

Besides, when Kurt hung out with Mercedes all those things seemed to slip his mind. With his newfound friend, he was happy.

Kurt now stood at his locker, fixing his bow tie in his locker mirror and mussing with his hair. He soon gave up, realizing it didn't matter what he looked like anyways because nobody would care or notice. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, walking briskly towards the library. His phone buzzed in his pocket, Kurt pulling it out and reading the text.

**Wanna go get coffee? My treat!**

Kurt smiled at the text from Mercedes, typing out a quick reply.

**Tempting, but I'm doing homework in the library. Tomorrow maybe?**

Kurt stepped into the library, walking quickly down the short steps towards the work desks. His phone buzzed again.

**Lol ur always working! :P Its okay though. Tomorrow 4 sure, after Glee! **

Kurt was smiling as he got to the bottom of the short steps, looking up. It was when he suddenly realized who was there that he gulped, nearly dropping his phone.

It was Blaine.

Blaine was staring down at a math textbook, writing furiously on a piece of paper, face screwed up in a look of intense concentration. His leather jacket lay on the back of his chair, arms flexing under his white V-neck t-shirt. Kurt gulped, feeling his heart race. Suddenly Blaine looked up at Kurt, their eyes meeting for a fleeting moment. Kurt felt his heart pounding. Blaine's eyes went wide but quickly changed to an unreadable expression as he looked back down, biting his lower lip and going back to writing slowly. Kurt winced, stung by the rejection in Blaine's gaze. It hurt more than Kurt thought it would. He wondered if he should just leave the library to avoid further embarrassment, and possibly heartbreak.

He glanced up and blushed when he saw the Vice Principal there, smiling kindly at him.

_Crap…_ Kurt thought. Running out now would make this even more awkward.

Kurt tried to smile at the Vice Principal, sitting gingerly down in the desk farthest from Blaine so he was behind him. He pulled out his own Math homework and notebook, aiming to finish graphing all of his functions before walking home to start dinner.

Kurt stared at the page, eying all the different graphs and equations and trying to get his mind to make them make sense. However, he was having a hard time focusing.

Blaine was a few mere feet behind him. Blaine, the boy who had hurt him worse than any bully had before, giving him hope and dashing it away. The first boy Kurt had ever thought liked him back. Kurt felt stupid for getting so worked up over Blaine being there, but he couldn't help himself. His stupid heart kept pounding, his mind torn between being hurt and longing to talk to the other boy. Maybe Kurt could go and apologize so Blaine would talk to him again, but what for? What had Kurt done? It must have been something. Maybe Kurt had stepped out of line, thinking he had a chance with the other boy. Maybe if Kurt approached Blaine and apologized they could go back to being sort of acquaintances.

Kurt was pulled out of his frantic thoughts by the sound of ripping paper.

Page after page Kurt heard being ripped, a soft grunt of frustration between each noise, followed by the scratching of a pencil against paper. Kurt ached to turn around, wondering what on earth Blaine was doing. After contemplating it for a moment he turned around hesitantly, watching Blaine rip out another page from his notebook, crumple it into a ball and throw it into a large pile of crumpled paper. Blaine glanced up and met Kurt's gaze, Kurt quickly turning around. All his mind could picture was the brief glimpse of Blaine's hopeless expression he had caught before he turned around. Kurt's face felt warm and flushed, and he hated the way his heart ached as his mind wondered why Blaine felt that way.

Maybe Blaine was hurt too. Maybe Blaine missed Kurt the way Kurt missed him. Part of Kurt hated the idea of Blaine feeling hurt, but the other part didn't care. Really, why should he? Kurt was the victim here, wasn't he? He was the one who had been insulted and kicked down, all his hopes dashed away. Why should Kurt give a damn about stupid Blaine Anderson, the boy who Kurt had stupidly let break his heart before a relationship had even begun?

_He's probably just frustrated over math…_ The rational part of Kurt's mind finally said, Kurt wincing. Of course Kurt had instantly jumped to making it about him. He was too hopeful for his own good, that particular trait always leading to disappointment.

Kurt suddenly felt a ball of paper hit his shoulder, rolling onto his table. He spun around quickly, looking at Blaine.

Blaine was staring at him, wide eyed.

"S-sorry." Blaine muttered, biting his bottom lip and going back to his work. Kurt was confused, his heart still beating fast as he watched Blaine work, face scrunched up in confusion and looking more frustrated as the seconds went by. Kurt turned back around, slowly opening up the small paper ball.

The work on the page was fairly simple, for Kurt at least. All Blaine was trying to do was simplify a simple expression. Kurt could see where Blaine was going wrong though, not following the proper steps at all. Kurt looked down at the bottom of the page, a bunch of sentences scribbled there.

_This is fucking impossible I'm never going to get this stupid fucking math why can't I just be smart like HIM? I'm so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Kurt felt his stomach drop, ignoring the fleeting thought that told him that the him Blaine was referring to was _him_. Instead he focused on how sad the note was. Did Blaine really think he was that stupid? That math was impossible? Kurt was sure if Blaine just paid attention in class more and spent less time in the office being punished for the stupid stuff he did, he would be okay. Kurt thought anyone could do well in school if they really tried.

Kurt wished he could help Blaine. Even though the thought of being close with the other boy again hurt, he hated the idea of Blaine thinking he was stupid or putting himself down more, even though Kurt constantly did the same thing to himself. He just wanted to make Blaine feel okay.

Kurt sighed, resting his head on his hand. He wished he didn't feel as drawn to Blaine as he did. He was afraid of getting hurt again, but he couldn't make himself stay away.

But really, would helping Blaine with math be that bad? He could talk to Blaine, help Blaine out and still hate him right? He could talk to the other boy without falling again, right?

Kurt heard Blaine sigh behind him, ripping his current piece of paper, crunching it into a ball. Kurt got up, already regretting his decision and he strode across the room to stand near Blaine.

"Need help?"

"No." Blaine snapped, not looking up. Kurt winced, ignoring the way his heart ached.

"The pile of paper beside you says otherwise."

Blaine finally looked up at Kurt, glaring.

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"I'm saying you look like you need some help." Kurt pressed on, sitting in the chair beside Blaine. His heart was pounding, not believing how forward he was being.

"Hummel, go away-"

"You're going about this all wrong." Kurt muttered, eyes already scanning the page. "You need to simplify within the brackets first, and you're completely forgetting about the exponents."

Blaine looked up at Kurt, for the first time not glaring. Now he looked honestly interested. Kurt tried not to let his eyes linger on Blaine's long eyelashes, or the scar he could see on his temple again, curving towards his cheek.

"What?"

Kurt sighed, talking Blaine through the simple equation easily and answering all of his questions. After the first question they did the next, and the next, and the next. Kurt kept shifting closer, their legs eventually brushing. Blaine said nothing, Kurt not catching the way Blaine looked up at Kurt's face whenever he was focused on looking at the textbook. In turn, Blaine didn't notice the way Kurt's hands were sweating, or how Kurt kept inhaling deeply to savor the smell of cigarette smoke and Blaine's cologne. The rational part of Kurt's mind was wondering where the hell all his previous fear and anger over getting close to Blaine was, because this would inevitably lead to him getting hurt again. The irrational part of his mind was screaming to apologize to Blaine, to forgive him, to talk to him and do anything he could just to get closer.

Before Kurt knew it they had finished Blaine's homework. The two of them were sitting awkwardly next to each other, legs still touching. Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes, noticing the bags under them. He looked so tired. The smell of cigarette smoke around him was stronger than ever and Kurt hated himself for liking the scent so much, realizing he missed its presence near him in English. Blaine hadn't shown up to that class in nearly a week. Blaine stared back at Kurt, eyes searching his face. Kurt's heart leapt, recognizing the look in Blaine's eyes. It was the same look Blaine had given him that day in the hallway, when Blaine had noticed his freckles and made him feel beautiful.

But soon the look slowly faded away, Blaine's eyes growing cold and distant looking. Eventually his face was unreadable all together.

"T-thanks I guess." Blaine offered lamely, looking away. Kurt's heart fell as Blaine refused to meet his eyes again.

"I can help you with your homework again if you'd like." Kurt offered, trying to smile. "You know, like a tutor?" Blaine still didn't look up, shaking his head.

"Not a good idea." Blaine said quietly, resting his head on the table and burying his face in his arms, not looking up. Kurt felt his heart deflate, a heavy weight washing over him. He lingered for a moment before nodding and standing up slowly, leaving his spot beside Blaine. He packed his bag, cursing himself for not doing any of his own work. He walked out of the library quickly, heading out the school and setting on his way home. It wasn't until he began his quick walk home that he noticed his vision was blurry with unshed tears.

Kurt didn't understand why he always did this. He was so stupid. He had gotten completely torn up over Blaine and now Kurt was offering his freaking tutoring help like it would kindle some sort of friendship or make him feel better again.

Kurt swallowed past a lump in throat, still smelling the lingering scent of cigarette smoke.

He missed Blaine. He had only know the boy just over a week, gotten hurt by him greatly, and yet here he was, being stupid and missing the boy who hated him. Who said outright he would never be anything with Kurt, not even friends.

Kurt wondered why he couldn't just give up on the boy. Why couldn't he just stay away from Blaine Anderson? Why did this have to hurt so much?

Kurt didn't realize he was crying until he felt himself drawing in a rattled breath, wiping his eyes and composing himself. He was sanding outside of his house, his fathers car parked in the driveway. He couldn't let his dad know he was crying. It would lead to too many questions Kurt didn't have the answers to.

Kurt wiped his eyes quickly, taking a few deep breaths. He straightened out his shirt, pushed his glasses up, and plastered on a fake smile as he walked up the steps and into his house, ready to face his dad with his usual fake happiness.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt finally has a friend! YAY! :D<strong>

**And awww, he misses Blaine a lot. I miss Blaine to. Maybe we should visit him in the next chapter… **

**Thank you so much for reviewing last time! They were lovely as always and I appreciate them. Once again, leave any criticisms, ideas for the fic, or anything you want to say in a review or in my tumblr ask (somethingfandomrelated)**

**Also for those of you who didn't read the first block because of the trigger warning, Kurt attempted suicide, but couldn't go through with it. He didn't want to live anymore because he was so heartbroken, but he was too scared to take his own life. **

**He was going to do it with prescription sleeping pills. He got them because after his mothers death because he used to have terrible nightmares so he couldn't sleep. It was also a photograph of himself and his mother that stopped him.**

… **and yeah, that's what was most important in that scene!**

**Reviews would be splendid! **


	6. Chapter 6

**ITS FINALLY DONE**

**First off, YOUR REVIEWS ARE AWESOME. THERES 100 of them. When I saw that number I nearly had a heart attack. **

**The reason this took so long was because it took me forever to finally get it right. I was really having trouble with it, so before I wrote the chapter I wrote a whole internal monologue of Blaine's thoughts on his past, which were going to be in this chapter but I decided against it. I decided you guys should learn about Blaine slowly, alongside Kurt. **

**The same goes for Kurt. As Blaine reveals things about his past, so will Kurt. Those snapshots of Kurt and Blaine inside their respective minds, exploring their pasts were two big scenes WERE in this chapter, but than I cut them out. **

**There was also a completely different ending for this chapter but I changed it last minute because I swear, the characters write the story, not me. They tell me their story in my head and I just listen and write. **

**Im gonna warn you, theres an oncoming angst storm, but I think you guys will like the ending… ;)**

* * *

><p>"Hummel! Mr. Hummel!"<p>

Kurt froze, turning around slowly in the hallway. He watched the Vice Principal weave through the crowd of students, clearly trying to get to him. Kurt blushed, all the students watching the man and snickering. Finally he reached Kurt and smiled, panting slightly.

"Hello, sir." Kurt offered weakly, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. The Vice Principal just smiled, ignoring his obvious discomfort.

"Good morning, Mr. Hummel. Sorry to barge up to you like this, but I have something the administration would like to ask you. It would be very beneficial to add to your resume and you'd be doing something great for your school."

Kurt quirked an eyebrow, interested. He tried to ignore the eye rolls and sneers of the kids who walked past, focusing on the man in front of him instead.

"I was the one watching Mr. Andersons detention yesterday," Kurt's stomach dropped at the same, his face blushing deeper. "And I noticed how you helped Mr. Anderson actually stay quiet and complete his school work."

Kurt felt his knees trembling, biting his bottom lip.

"I-I was just helping, sir. No big deal…"

"He's never done that before. Usually when we get him to work he grows frustrated and gives up, getting rowdy again. You actually got him to finish his work." The Vice Principal was smiling so wide Kurt was a bit scared. He gulped, heart pounding.

"So w-what is it you want me to do, sir?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to be Mr. Anderson's tutor." Kurt put a hand abruptly on the locker next to him; afraid he might fall over if he didn't.

"W-what?"

"A tutor, Mr. Hummel. You see, we're really trying to help Mr. Anderson graduate but so far he's resisted all types of help. But you've actually managed to help him. You've calmed him down in English and actually got him to learn something yesterday. " The Vice Principal began to chuckle. "Almost like you've tamed the beast."

Kurt's stomach twisted, hating the way he was talking about Blaine. He wasn't some sort of dog that needed training. Just because he acted out and didn't do well in school, it didn't make him a lesser person or some sort of idiot. He was just a boy.

"So you want me to tutor him?" Kurt said, clutching his books tighter to his chest. "I-I'm sorry sir, but how do you know he'd even accept my help?"

The Vice Principal looked thoughtful for a moment but soon smiled.

"I'm sure he'll accept it. He's taken a liking to you already." Kurt bit his bottom lip, looking down. "Also tutoring the troubled youth in our school would be a fabulous addition to your College resumes, wouldn't it? I could also mention it in a recommendation letter if you ever needed it, you know."

Kurt tried not to roll his eyes. Bribery. They were actually bribing Kurt to tutor Blaine. It was pathetic.

"I'm not sure sir…"

"Please, Mr. Hummel?" He was begging now? "It would be a great resume booster, and hey, you'd be doing me a favor…"

Kurt felt his stomach flip, his mind screaming _no_. However, as he looked at the hopeful face of his Vice Principal, thoughts of recommendation letters, resumes and finally getting out of Lima no matter what it cost him formed at the forefront of his mind. A small part of him also imagined an excuse to spend time with Blaine, not sure if it was a pro or a con. But if doing this so he could get him out of Lima would be worth it, right? If it was any other student besides Blaine he would go for it, wouldn't he?

Or was Blaine the whole subconscious reason he was saying yes?

"O-okay." Kurt finally muttered, watching the Vice Principal smile wide, shaking Kurt's sweaty hand to thank of him. While part of Kurt was glad he'd made the other man happy, the other part was wondering if he had made a mistake.

* * *

><p>Kurt saw Blaine across the hallway and he gulped, glancing around nervously. The hallways were crowded as usual, but there wasn't a letterman jacket in sight. Bracing himself, Kurt walked forward slowly, dress shoes clacking on the floor as he finally approached Blaine. Kurt raised a shaky hand to tap his shoulder. Blaine spun around quickly, the smell of smoke and cologne hitting Kurt hard before he realized how close they were. Kurt was momentarily stunned, taking in Blaine's wide eyes, briefly distracted by his eyelashes before he stepped back hastily, putting space between them.<p>

"Hummel, what did I say about-"

"S-sorry." Kurt muttered. "I know you want me to stay away. But the VP wants me to be your new t-tutor."

Blaine quirked an eyebrow up.

"Tutor?"

Kurt nodded slowly, looking down and trying to ignore the way his heart was pounding.

"It wasn't my idea and I t-told him you wouldn't want to but-"

"_Faggot!_"

Suddenly Kurt found himself being pushed forward, throwing out his arms to hopefully break his fall into the locker. However before that could come he felt arms grab his own, and instead of crashing into the locker he crashed into Blaine. Kurt gasped, feeling Blaine's hard chest under him and his strong arms wrapped around him, warm and secure. Kurt pulled away as quickly as he could, shaking with something that wasn't fear.

"I'm sorry. S-so sorry-"

"Whatever Hummel." Blaine muttered, though he wouldn't meet Kurt's eyes. Instead his gaze held that same look they did that day in his dad's garage; sort of dazed and panicked. Before Kurt could ask about the tutoring again Blaine was stalking away quickly, disappearing down the hall. He swallowed past a lump in his throat, standing alone as the bell rung.

He looked in Blaine's still open locker for a moment, noting amongst the untouched schoolbooks, packs of cigarettes and a worn skateboard was a picture. The sight made Kurt's eyes wide. It was Blaine, with slicked back ha ir, wearing some kind of blue and red blazer. He sat at a table with two other boys in the same blazers, all of them smiling wide. Kurt couldn't believe it. Blaine looked so innocent and… well, beautiful. This wasn't the same angry boy Kurt knew today. The boy in the photograph looked happy, sitting with his uniform-wearing friends, smiling for the camera. Kurt suddenly realized he would be late for class, locking Blaine's locker before running away quickly, picturing Blaine's brilliant smile the entire journey.

* * *

><p>Kurt put his books carefully into his locker before taking more out, putting his homework into his bag. It had been a long day, and really, Kurt just wanted to go home. That was until the Vice Principal cornered him again, asking Kurt to meet him in the library for tutoring after school. Having to teach Blaine Anderson math really wasn't high on his list of things he wanted to be doing. He wanted to go home and sleep before his dad came home and he'd have to put on the 'happy, everything's fine' mask again.<p>

"You okay?"

Kurt looked up from his locker, smiling when he saw it was Mercedes. As always, Kurt was happily surprised when she stopped by his locker. He was still shocked he had a friend.

"I'm fine." He said, trying to keep grinning. "Why?"

"You've just seemed… down lately. More than usual."

Kurt felt his smile falter at the comment, knowing she was right. Mercedes brutal honesty and the way she noticed things was something Kurt both loved and hated about her. It was nice to finally have someone honestly speak to him, but it did force him to think of things he really didn't want to think about.

"I'm okay." He promised, though it was a lie. Kurt knew Mercedes was still a little put down that he was obviously keeping things from her, but she never pried.

"Well, I just came to say we have to cancel our coffee date after school. Emergency Glee Club meeting, with the competition coming up soon and everything."

"Its cool." Kurt said, closing his locker. "I have tutoring tonight anyway." At least, Kurt thought he did. He wasn't sure if Blaine would even show up. He sort of hoped he wouldn't.

Mercedes looked shocked.

"You need a tutor?"

Kurt almost laughed at her surprised tone, shaking his head.

"No, _I'm_ the tutor."

Mercedes smiled, laughing.

"Obviously. I should never have doubted your academic abilities."

"Its alright." Kurt laughed, hugging his books to his chest. "I'm going to the library. Have fun at Glee!"

"Have fun tutoring, I guess. If that's possible." Mercedes smiled, offering a small wave before turning to walk the opposite way, disappearing down the hall. Kurt's smile lingered as he walked towards the library. He was about to turn down the hallway when he was stopped abruptly, slamming into a person. He jumped back, gulping when he saw who it was.

He had run into the captain of the hockey team, all the members having a slushie in hand.

"Watch where your going fag." The biggest one said, the team laughing. Kurt winced, already feeling himself trembling.

"P-please don't slushie m-me." Kurt practically whimpered, shoving his books into his shoulder bag just incase they did. "It's the end of the day. I just-"

"What, so that's an excuse?" The team laughed. "You know, we were just gonna drink these. But your suggestion seems _much_ better…"

Kurt swallowed hard, stomach dropping. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut?

"P-please? Please don't. You d-don't have to d-do this."

"Oh, b-but I th-think w-we d-do." One member said, the team laughing as he mocked Kurt's stutter. Kurt winced, and all of a sudden he realized he was surrounded on all sides. He had only just closed his eyes when he felt the rush of cold, and suddenly everything smelt like sickly sweet sugar. He felt sticky, the cold making his skin ache as the liquid dripped down the front of his top, seeping into his clothes, making him gasp. The team laughed, one member shoving him to the ground.

"That's what you get faggot!"

The team laughed out loud again, Kurt wiping the drink from his eyes, feeling hot tears slide down his cheeks. He pulled off his glasses that were covered in the drink, his eyes stinging. He sobbed out loud once, the team laughing harder as Kurt got up and ran, disappearing down the hallway, slipping and dripping slushie as he entered the girls bathroom, knowing the team wouldn't go in there.

Kurt sobbed again, dropping his bag to the floor and already unbuttoning his dress shirt. Could he ever catch a break?

Kurt opened his eyes, stumbling to the sink and rinsing his glasses under the spray, setting them on the counter. He looked up at his reflection and saw a figure behind him, the sight making him jump and nearly scream.

"Calm down." The voice said, Kurt spinning around. He blinked twice to make sure he wasn't seeing things, watching the blurry figure step a closer so Kurt could see him.

It was Blaine.

"W-what are you d-doing h-here?" Kurt stuttered out, more cold than nervous. Blaine shrugged.

"Girls bathroom is cleaner." He said simply, walking towards the door. Kurt thought he was going to leave but all he heard was the lock click. His stomach dropped.

"W-what are you doing? W-why did you l-lock-"

"So nobody walks in." Blaine said, his tone obvious. Kurt bit his lip, feeling the sticky slushie already begin to dry.

"Please don't h-hurt me. I-I've already h-had e-enough-"

"I'm not gonna hurt you." Blaine sounded hurt by the accusation, crossing the room slowly. "I just- I thought you wouldn't want any girls walking in while you got cleaned up."

"Why are y-you here?"

Blaine's brow furrowed, looking confused.

"To help you?"

"Why?" Kurt asked, eyes tearing up. "Since when have you ever helped me? Since when do you care? Since when does _anybody_ care?"

Blaine looked confused at Kurt's yelling, face fearful.

"Kurt-"

"Don't call me that! I'm Hummel, remember? Hummel the homo! That kid who gets shoved into lockers, thrown into dumpsters and slushied every day? The dorky kid who will _never_ be anything more to you than the kid on the opposite end of the slushie, right?"

"Stop it-"

"Stop what?" Kurt seethed. "I don't get you Anderson. One minute you're an asshole, calling me names and making fun of me. The next you're telling me you dig guys, calling me gorgeous and beautiful. And than you go back to being mean again." Kurt swallowed past a lump in his throat, feeling more tears fall. "It's not fair Anderson. Did you know that for a second you made me think that you li-" Kurt stopped talking, his voice thick.

"Kurt…"

"J-just go."

"Kurt-"

"Please!" Kurt begged, sobbing. "Just l-leave me alone."

Kurt stared at Blaine through blurry, tear filled eyes, watching as he stalked out of the bathroom, shoulders slumped. Kurt sobbed out loud once again, bracing his hands on the sink and wondering if it would always hurt this much.

* * *

><p>"Kurt?"<p>

Kurt rolled his teary eyes, stomping in the house in his slushie stained clothes. His dad rushed over, grabbing his face.

"What happened to you?"

Kurt pulled out of the touch violently, ignoring his father and walking up to his room.

"Kurt! Stop!"

Kurt froze on the steps, turning slowly to face his father. He stood there, looking heartbroken.

"What happened?"

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"What do you think dad?" Kurt shouted, crossing his arms. "Slushied! I got slushied! And don't look so freaking shocked-"

"_Kurt Hummel!_"

"Because it happens on a daily basis. That's what happens when you're gay and a loser, dad. Slushies. Locker slams. Dumpster tosses. Not that you would ever notice."

Kurt knew he was being over dramatic. He knew the only reason his dad didn't know was because Kurt never said anything. He knew the only reason he was acting like this was because he had finally snapped. But he was so angry he found he just didn't care.

"Kurt, stop this right now!"

"NO!" Kurt shouted, stomping up the stairs. He heard his father quickly following so he began to run, slamming and locking his bedroom door before his dad could catch him. He heard his father knocking on the door loudly, the door shaking.

"Kurt! Kurt Hummel you open this door right now!"

Kurt sobbed out loud, covering his ears to block the noise.

"Go away!"

"Open this door!"

"_Leave!_"

But his father didn't listen. He just kept knocking, jiggling the handle.

"Why are you acting like this Kurt?" He finally said, still yelling. "What's going on with you? Why didn't you tell me about the bullying?"

"Because I didn't want to." Kurt shouted, ripping off his slushie stained clothes behind the door. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out, reading the text.

**Wanna hang out at my place?**

"Kurt you listen to me right now." His dad was still yelling. "I don't know why you didn't tell me but you need to stop this. Come out here right now!"

"Why should I?" Kurt questioned, voice wavering. "You can't do anything to help!"

"I'm your father and I love you!" Kurt thought his dad might be crying too, from the sound of his voice. "I just want to help."

"I don't care!" Kurt shouted, sobbing. "Y-you never notice. You cant do a-anything!"

"I'm your father!" Burt shouted. "I love you and I care about you-"

Kurt felt like something had snapped inside him again, years of repressed anger bubbling out.

"The only reason you're so freaking over protective is because of mom! I'm all you have left of her! And I'm a disappointment! I'm not good enough! I'm not the strong, straight son you wanted, but I'm all you have left!"

Kurt knew it was a low blow, and he regreted the words the instant they left his mouth. He covered his mouth with his hand, unable to believe what he had just said.

"Kurt…"

"I'm sorry dad." He gasped out, saying the rest in a whisper. "But it's true. I know its true."

"I love you." His dad said. "Kurt I love you and you know it! You're my son. My son who I'm… who I'm proud of."

Kurt sobbed out loud again covering his mouth with a shaky hand. He shook his head, though his dad couldn't see, not believing his words. He looked back down at his phone and used the other hand to type out a quick "yes" to Mercedes before pulling a duffle bag out from under his bed.

"Kurt!"

"I don't care dad! You have to love me. Nobody else does."

"Kurt! Please!"

"What!" Kurt shouted, pulling on a pair of track pants and an oversized t-shirt. He began shoving clothes into his bag, going into his bathroom to grab things like his toothbrush and deodorant. He also grabbed his schoolbooks, his phone charger, wallet, and a small picture of his mother on his desk, zipping up the bag. He slung it and his backpack over his shoulder, wiping his teary eyes. He couldn't stay in this house anymore. Not tonight. Not after everything he had said. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to face his father again.

"Please, son." Burt was speaking softly now, no longer yelling or knocking on the door. "Please, let me help you. Please."

"Dad, I'm sorry." Kurt muttered, crossing the room and throwing his duffle bag out of the window. He went back to the door. "I'll be back later." Kurt knew he had to act fast, ignoring his fathers confused talking as he went back to the window. Kurt slung his backpack on his back, swinging out of the window, grabbing onto the windows ledge. He shimmied over to the vines and fencing that crawled up his houses side, climbing carefully down the side of the house. When he got close to the bottom he jumped to the ground, running and leaving his house behind.

* * *

><p>"It's about time you showed- Oh my God!"<p>

Kurt winced at Mercedes yell, self-consciously crossing his arms and ignoring his stinging red eyes. She was staring at him, eyes wide and fearful.

"Kurt?"

"Can I come in?" Kurt asked, wincing again at how gravely and pathetic his voice sounded, falling from his lips like a whisper. Mercedes nodded, quickly ushering him into the warm house. Kurt breathed deeply when he entered, looking around. It was modestly sized and tastefully decorated. The walls were a warm maroon colour, and covered in family photos. The light coming from the lamps shone in the room, casting a warm yellow haze. It smelled like home cooking, and everything in the house looked well used and loved.

It looked like a family lived there.

Mercedes ushered him to her room quickly, explaining that she was going to tell her mom he was here and then come back. She eyed his duffel bag warily, quietly saying he could also stay the night and her mom would make up the guest bed. Kurt's eyes teared up a bit, and he tried to smile gratefully, not saying anything. His throat was too tight to do so.

Kurt sat on Mercedes' bed, the mattress squeaking under him. The room was painted a deep blue colour, matching the black furniture and blue comforter. There were posters on the wall from musicals and a rather large one of Whitney Houston. Kurt saw a picture of the Glee Club in their 'Somebody To Love' outfits in the middle of a corkboard on her wall, surrounded by many others of her and the club, and Mercedes with her family. In the corner was a picture of Mercedes and him she had taken on her phone and apparently printed. Seeing it there proudly amongst the other photos of her other friends made Kurt want to cry for an entirely different reason.

Mercedes came back quickly as promised, carrying a large tray with two glasses of iced tea, two sandwiches and a bowl of chips. She blushed when she saw Kurt's confused expression.

"My mom made me bring it up. I told her we might skip dinner and she didn't want us to be hungry. She also saw you when you came in and hopes you're okay."

Kurt looked down, biting his lip. Mercedes mom sounded nice. Sort of like his own was.

Mercedes crossed the room slowly, sitting hesitantly next to Kurt on the bed. She began to pat his shoulder, rubbing her hand up and down his back comfortingly which made Kurt cry again, feeling stupid and insecure.

"It's okay to cry Kurt."

"I'm sorry." He gasped out, wiping his eyes. She shushed him, giving him a half hug.

"Want to talk about it?"

Kurt shrugged first, unsure of what to say but soon found himself nodding. His heart beat a bit faster in his chest, but he knew he had to talk, to say _something_.

"Just start wherever you want." Mercedes said, looking at him honestly. Kurt took a shaky breath before starting.

"I… I sort of snapped today." He said, already blinking back tears. "God I feel so over dramatic and stupid but I just… I just couldn't take it anymore."

"What made you snap?" She asked quietly. Kurt gulped, finally saying it aloud.

"Blaine A-Anderson."

Mercedes looked like she was trying to hide her shock for Kurt's sake, but failed miserably.

"Has he been bullying you?"

"Yes and no." Kurt said, shrugging. Before he knew it he was explaining everything to her. About that first day in the library, their conversations in class, that day in the hallway where Blaine called him gorgeous as they held hands. He told her about how he stupidly fell for him, probably because he was so desperate and lonely. He explained how he thought Blaine liked him, but then Blaine rejected him like he should have expected. But then, even though Blaine rejected him so harshly, he would still be nice to Kurt. One second he was a jerk, the next he was looking at Kurt like he was an actual person. He explained how confused it made him.

Finally he explained today in the bathroom room, how Blaine had tried to help him but Kurt had just yelled. How he had gone home and yelled at his father, who had always been over bearing and protective since his mother's death. His father who knew nothing about the bullying and had seen Kurt's slushie stained clothes for the first time. How he had just packed a bag and left, not knowing why he was doing it but knowing he didn't want to be at home anymore.

He never told Mercedes about the suicide, though. That was a part of himself he decided he'd never share. Despite it all Kurt thought it felt good to talk to Mercedes, who sat and listened without interruption, tears gathered in her eyes. When he was finally done he felt out of breath and he had used half a box of tissues. Mercedes held his hand tightly.

"Oh Kurt, it's okay to cry. You've been through the ringer." She soothed, patting his hair.

"I just don't know what to do Mercedes. I've had enough of just… everything. I feel so angry and mad at Blaine and my dad but mostly myself. I just… I need a break."

"You deserve one." Mercedes said softly, squeezing his hand. "Here's what we're gonna do Kurt. My moms gonna call your dad so he doesn't have a panic attack and let him know you're safe and will be home tomorrow. Meanwhile I'll go get some ice cream and two spoons and we'll have a Musical Marathon and just take a break. It'll just be you, me and a lot of Barbara."

Kurt teared up, letting out a shaky laugh.

"Mercedes, you're my only friend." He admitted softly, smiling at her sadly. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

* * *

><p>Kurt walked down the halls of McKinley slowly, aware of the eyes on him. He guessed it was because of how different he looked- his usual put together dress shirts and bow ties replaced with grungy track pants, runners and a better fitting t-shirt than the one from the night before, but still left him looking sloppy. Kurt's face was flushed self consciously as he walked down the halls, avoiding everyone's looks.<p>

The night before had been hell. Kurt had spent the majority of the night at Mercedes crying, stuffing his face with junk food and avoiding his fathers phone calls, though Mercedes mother had assured his dad he was perfectly safe before he called the cops or did anything drastic.

Now Kurt was struggling to get though the day, both relieved and annoyed that it was going by so slowly. He didn't know what to expect when he went home that evening. His father could be really angry at him, or maybe even heartbroken. Kurt still felt horrible for what he had said and done, but it was too late to go back now.

And, if he was being honest, what he had said was how he truly felt inside sometimes. Even if it was awful.

Kurt was only a short distance away from his locker when he felt like he was being pulled back. He yelped in surprise when he felt a pair of hands grab his waist, and he was suddenly surrounded by darkness. He panicked, spinning around quickly, hitting his attacker.

"Hey! Ouch! Cut it out-"

A light flickered on, Kurt finally zoning in on his attackers face, eyes widening. It was Blaine. He was about to yell in protest when Blaine clapped a hand over his mouth, silencing him. Kurt's heart beat faster, his body struggling to break free.

"Ill let go if you promise not to scream." Blaine said softly, eyes wide and honest. Kurt was momentarily trapped in his gaze, his hazel eyes bright. Kurt noticed that he didn't smell strongly of cigarettes today, but like cologne and fresh laundry. The smell was intoxicating, and Kurt hated the fact that he liked it so much.

"Promise?"

Kurt found himself nodding, Blaine letting the hand covering his mouth fall slowly. Kurt licked his lips, biting the bottom one.

"W-what do you want?" Kurt finally asked, crossing his arms. "Did you not get the message yesterday?"

Kurt knew he was putting up a strong front, but inside he was terrified. He thought of yesterday, of all Blaine had triggered. Screaming at him in the bathroom, yelling at his father, crying to Mercedes until he was so exhausted he fell asleep before he made it to the second movie. Kurt felt like he was emotionally done. He had cried too many tears over Blaine Anderson, and he just wanted to be left alone.

He was sure Blaine was just here to tease him. Or possible say no to the tutoring and explain all the reasons he disliked him. Or maybe get mad at Kurt for yelling at him the day before, or maybe even tell Kurt to keep his mouth shut about them.

"I just…" Blaine sighed, running a hand through his hair. "God Hummel, I don't know. I just... I feel like shit because of what I did, okay?"

Kurt's eye widened, heart skipping a beat. That was the opposite of what he expected.

"W-what?"

"I want to apologize." Blaine shifted from foot to foot, twiddling with his fingers. Suddenly he didn't look like the bad boy Blaine Anderson that swaggered through the hallways. He looked like Blaine Anderson, the small, innocent boy from the photograph, looking lost and afraid.

"Apologize?" Kurt finally answered, mouth dry. Blaine nodded.

"I don't… I don't get it Hummel. I don't understand what's going on between us. I don't understand why I like you so much, or why I'm so fucking afraid of liking you. I don't understand why I'm not... I just don't… I don't understand what you're doing to me."

Kurt's heart was pounding, his head spinning. He was sure this was a dream.

"You like m-me?"

"Yeah, I do like you, Kurt." Blaine whispered, looking down. "I'm really confused about it, but all I know is that I'm an asshole and I've hurt your feelings and you hate me now but… but I still like you."

Blaine finally looked up.

"I understand why you were mad and I get it. So I promise I'll leave you alone. I wont bother you anymore. I won't tease you or fuck with your feelings. I'll just ignore you."

"Just know that I'm sorry…" He finished in a whisper. Kurt looked at Blaine's eyes and gasped, thinking _holy shit those are tears gathered there_. Blaine blinked, rubbing his eyes and moving to leave the room. Kurt reached out hesitantly, heart beating out of his chest.

"W-wait." He muttered, pulling Blaine back. Blaine waited expectantly, staring at Kurt with wide eyes. Kurt couldn't believe what he was doing but he stepped closer, grabbing Blaine's hand, hesitantly threading their fingers together. He didn't know why he was doing this, why he still kept coming back to Blaine time and time again after every time he hurt him, but right now Kurt didn't care. Here was Blaine, beautiful Blaine, the secret softie who was actually showing his emotions to Kurt and being honest for the first time. Admitting the feelings Kurt only dared to dream Blaine felt for him.

Kurt knew he was probably making a mistake. He knew that this wasn't going to end well, and he'd be fooling himself if he told himself that they would ever have some sort of perfect romance. But looking into Blaine's eyes, so expectant and vulnerable, Kurt knew that whatever they had would be enough.

Of course he was still scared. He didn't know if Blaine would want to really be with him, if Blaine would go any farther than just saying sorry to Kurt in the privacy of a janitor's closet, but standing so close to the other boy, smelling his cologne, watching the way his eyelashes fanned his cheeks when he blinked, hiding and revealing his beautiful eyes, Kurt felt all that hurt from before, all the pain Blaine had caused, slowly ebb away.

Kurt knew that right now it wasn't love, but his heart felt potential. And that's more than he ever thought he'd have.

"You hurt me." Kurt finally whispered, feeling Blaine sigh. They were close enough for the warm breath to fan his face, making Kurt nearly shiver. "I cried over you, you know."

"I'm sorry." Blaine said again, and Kurt felt Blaine's palm in his, just as sweaty as his own was. It made Kurt want to smile, convinced him that Blaine was real and human. Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand, leaning to whisper in his ear.

"I think I can forgive you." He leaned back, smirking. "But I think you have to repay me first."

Blaine actually smiled, a small nervous smile.

"Th-then I guess I better get started."

A few confused seconds after that Kurt Hummel received another thing he never thought he'd get.

His first kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>-OOOOHHHH THEY KISSED, HOLY SHIT, CUE THE CONFETTI AND MAKE A GIF~<strong>

**I was going to wait another chapter before this happened, but I couldn't help it. These boys kept bothering me to let them finally get together. Plus I decided Kurts had enough hurting and deserved something good. **

**But this doesn't mean its all smooth sailing on the fluffy Klaine sea from this point on. The boys aren't necessarily together yet. They have a lot of things they have to face personally, a lot to share together, and a whole bunch of other stuffs…**

**But this does open up the possibility of fluff the next chapter. Who knows! Time will tell what happens to our boys. ;)**

**Reviews make me the happiest girl in the world! :D Also if you want to ask questions or give me suggestions and you don't want to review it, you can send me an ask on my tumblr. (somethingfandomrelated) and I promise Ill answer anything, as long at it doesn't spoil the future of this story! **

**Also if ya'll could possible send me fic recs of DETAILED stories where Klaine makes out/kisses/have their first time could you send them to me? I need them for… research. **


	7. Chapter 7

**... hello again. **

**I honestly have no excuse for not posting. At least, not a good one. I know how lame it sounds to say I just sort of lost my inspiration but I did. My minds been stuck in a spoken word/poetry phase, so trying to write a story has been difficult. But it's alright, because it's back now and Im gonna try to get back into the swing of things and type updates more often. For ALL my fics. **

**Thank you SO MUCH for your patience and your always kind reviews and messages. Re-reading them all is half the reasons I decided to give this fic another go. So thank you. **

**For now, enjoy this update. (:**

* * *

><p>Kurt was pretty sure his heart has stopped beating.<p>

He was standing in a janitors closet, in his high school, in his freaking _track pants_, with Blaine Anderson _kissing_ him and, _oh god why wasn't he kissing back?_

Before Kurt could even react Blaine pulled back, chuckling. Kurt shivered, the sound vibrating beneath his fingertips that rest on Blaine's chest, the other hand still holding Blaine's own.

"You know, you're sort of supposed to kiss back." Blaine murmured, absently licking his lips before leaning down again, Kurt drawing in a quick breath before the other boys lips touched his own.

Kurt wasn't sure what to do, but he thought back to the countless movies he had seen where kissing had happened. None of the books he read or shows he'd watched had prepared him for this. The damp press of Blaine's lips to his own, the warm breath Blaine exhaled over his face, the way Blaine was applying a slow pressure, his lips moving against Kurt's own.

It was then Kurt realized he should probably try to kiss back.

Though he wasn't sure what he was doing Kurt tried, applying pressure with his own lips, moving them alongside Blaine's. The gentle pressure felt good, a low heat simmering in his stomach, which was going crazy with butterflies. Kurt went to lick his bottom lip, forgetting about Blaine's lips being in the way. He ended up just licking Blaine's bottom lip, a surprised noise forming in the back of his throat. Blaine just hummed, pulling back.

"Pretty daring for your first kiss, don't you think Kurt?"

Kurt blushed, hiding his face on Blaine's shoulder as the other boy laughed.

"Shut up." Kurt muttered, feeling Blaine's thumb rub against the back of his hand. He was sure his knees were shaking from nerves and excitement, his brain still not quite sure what was happening.

"Don't worry, it was pretty excellent." Blaine murmured, letting go of Kurt's hand to wrap his arms around the other boy. Kurt did the same, resting his head on Blaine's shoulder. His mind was still shocked he was here, in a closet, hugging _Blaine Anderson_.

He was also surprised he enjoyed it as much as he did. He almost didn't want to let go.

But soon Blaine pulled back, smiling at Kurt. It wasn't the usual cocky smirk either, but an almost nervous smile. Kurt almost believed Blaine might have been feeling the same way Kurt did inside, panicked and excited and happy all at once.

"So what now?" Kurt questioned softly before he could stop himself. Blaine's brow furrowed.

"What d'you mean?"

"What happens to us now?" Kurt asked, reality crashing back in. He took a step back, the little fantasy bubble of kissing and hugging slowly fading away. He crossed his arms. "We… well, we both have feelings for each other."

"Id say that much is clear, yeah." Blaine said with a smirk, shifting from one foot to the other. Kurt tried not to smile and blush.

"So what happens to us now?" Kurt asked. "Are we… are we like…."

"Together?" Blaine finished for him, voice higher. Kurt swallowed thickly, looking away and nodding. He heard Blaine sigh, turning back to watch him run a hand through his curly hair.

"I…. I dunno." Kurt felt his heart sink, and Blaine suddenly looked up, panicked. "No, I mean, I like you Kurt. I really, really like you. I want to… I want to be with you. I just-" Blaine sighed again, looking frustrated, hands curling into fists. Kurt walked forward slowly, grabbing Blaine's clenched hands and coaxing them to uncurl and relax. He rubbed Blaine's hands soothingly, holding them in his own.

"Just what, Blaine?" Kurt asked softly. Blaine looked so conflicted and confused it made Kurt want to pull Blaine into his lap and hold him until the hurt was gone, despite the ache in his own chest.

"I don't know if… I don't know if I wanna be out." Blaine finally said, voice nearly a whisper. Kurt watched his adams apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard. "I don't know if I want people to know if I'm gay. At my old school…" Blaine's eyes got a far away look, and Kurt found his own flickering to the scar on Blaine's temple. His heart dropped, stomach clenching uncomfortably.

"I don't want to face that again." He finally said, looking at Kurt with glassy eyes. "But I do want to try Kurt. I want to… I want to try to be with you."

"So what should we do?" Kurt asked, sort of uncomfortable with being some sort of "secret boyfriend." But seeing the fear in his eyes, Kurt realized Blaine had some scars, probably the same way Kurt did. How could he possibly force the boy to be out? Besides, something like this didn't happen every day. This was Lima Ohio. Kurt couldn't expect some perfectly confident gay guy to just fall out of the sky and be out and proud by his side. If he was going to ever have a relationship, this is what it would be. This was it.

"Can we… can we just try this?" Blaine asked, squeezing Kurt's hands. "We can, you know, hang out. Go out to dinners and movies and stuff. D-date." Kurt felt his stomach erupt into butterflies again, blush coloring his cheeks. "You don't have to do it if you want, I get if you wanna… not hide. But I just… I need time. But I want to try and be with you."

Kurt bit his bottom lip. He wanted to be with Blaine, he wanted to finally have a boyfriend, maybe find love. But was he really going to hide himself in order to get it? Despite being terrified of judgment, Kurt Hummel was always a romantic at heart. All he wanted was someone to hold his hands in the hallways and kiss him between classes. With Blaine he wouldn't have that kind of PDA. But he would have someone… a boyfriend. Someone who would care about him, even if it wasn't out loud. Maybe Blaine would grow more confident over time. Maybe they'd come out as a couple one day, go to prom, fall in love…

"I don't know how long I'll wait for you." Kurt finally said after a long silence, Blaine's face falling. "But for now, I will wait with you."

Blaine looked up at him, eyes wide.

"So we'll try? Being together, I mean?"

"We'll try." Kurt agreed, an exhilarated smile lighting Blaine's face so much like the one in the photograph, Kurt was sure he had made the greatest decision in the world.

* * *

><p>"You seem happy today." Mercedes noted as they walked home from school together. Kurt shrugged, trying not to blush as he thought about earlier that day, standing in the closet with Blaine, the way it felt when they kissed...<p>

"I am happier." He said simply, smiling at her. She smiled too.

"Any particular reason why?"

Kurt bit his bottom lip, his insides bursting with the need to tell her everything. He desperately wanted to tell her about Blaine, about his first kiss, about how happy he made him today, about how a lot of that hurt from before was almost gone because of it. But he knew she would think dating Blaine was a mistake. Heck, all throughout the day he even wondered if it would end well, if he had made a mistake saying yes. But even more than that he couldn't tell her what had happened because of Blaine. He knew Blaine wanted to keep it a secret and wasn't ready to be out, and Kurt couldn't bear outing him. Even if Mercedes was his best friend.

"N-no particular reason." He finally decided on saying, cursing his nervous stutter. Mercedes looked unconvinced but shrugged.

"Whatever you say." She said, rolling her eyes playfully. "You can keep your reasons to yourself. But just so you know, I think I like Happy Kurt a lot better than Sad Kurt."

Kurt grinned at the comment; feeling like his heart was inflating in his chest.

"Yeah, me too."

* * *

><p>Kurt stood outside his house, gulping.<p>

This was it. This was the moment he had been dreading all day. Finally facing his father. Kurt walked up the steps hastily, steeling himself to go inside. He bit his bottom lip as he finally opened the front door with a shaking hand. He stepped inside quietly, dropping his duffel bag to the floor and walked into the empty living room. The house was completely quiet.

"D-dad?"

He heard movement from above him and stood silent as Burt descended the stairs. Kurt quirked an eyebrow in confusion as he watched his father walk down, wearing a shirt and tie with dress pants and nice shoes, his ball cap out of sight. In his right hand was a small suitcase.

"Kurt." Burt said simply, staring at Kurt. Kurt had to lock his knees to keep them from trembling.

"W-why are you all dressed up?" Kurt asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Where are you going?"

"I have a big conference that I can't miss. Union stuff." Burt sighed, walking to the door. "I'm sorry but I'm not going to be back for a few days."

Kurt was expecting the anxious weight on his chest to leave but it didn't. Instead he felt almost a little disappointed. He had practically poured his heart out to his father the night before in a fit of rage before leaving home. And now his father was rushing off to some conference instead of talking to him about it.

Kurt swallowed past a lump in his throat, looking down.

"O-oh."

"We… we still need to have a serious talk buddy." His dad said, picking his car keys up off the hook near the door. "Just not tonight. When I get back, okay?"

"Y-yes sir." Kurt said, looking down and wincing. The name had slipped out accidentally, and Kurt only ever said it when he was in huge trouble. Burt looked put off by the name, but said nothing.

"Goodnight, son."

With that Burt left the house, leaving Kurt alone. Kurt sighed out loud, dragging his bags to his room before flopping down on his bed, exhaling a shaky breath.

Kurt was confused as to why he was so upset. His didn't know what to expect today, but definitely not this. He had thought maybe his dad would yell at him. Or at least seriously talk. Kurt had outright revealed he thought himself a disappointment to his father, and how he thought Burt loved him only because Kurt was all he had left. Kurt was expecting at least _some_ conversation. Maybe reassurance that his father really did love him and that he wasn't a disappointment. Or at least that he was more important than some stupid conference.

Kurt knew deep down his father loved him, but he really just wanted to know why.

Kurt rolled over on his bed, closing his eyes shut, ready to drift off to sleep. A moment later his phone buzzed. A text from the newest number, Blaine.

**What's up gorgeous? ;)**

Despite being so upset, Kurt couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. Chatting with Blaine for the remainder of the evening, it never left.

* * *

><p>Kurt found he didn't mind having a secret relationship nearly as much as he thought he would.<p>

So far he loved it, despite it only being a day. Though it still sucked not being able to be lovey dovey in front of everybody like all the other budding couples around school did, it made the relationship much more thrilling. Every stolen glance from across the classroom and brush of the hands when walking past each other in the hallways sent a thrill up Kurt's spine. Not having to be around Blaine 24/7 also made Kurt a bit more comfortable because when he was around the other boy he usually grew tongue tied and awkward anyway. Especially since they were still testing their boundaries to see if this relationship would even work. Kurt wasn't sure if it was self-convinced or not, but he thought so far the relationship was nearly perfect.

Like right now. Kurt was sitting next to Blaine in the library, legs brushing as he leaned close to help him. Kurt was tutoring him in History right now, catching him up on the History of Rome. He read to Blaine quietly from the textbook, softly relaying the rise of Augustus. Every few seconds Kurt would feel Blaine's leg shift against his own, tapping his feet as if to initiate a game of footsie. Kurt would glare at Blaine who would be sitting innocently, the only signal of his little game being the glint in his eyes. Kurt's eyes flickered up the Vice Principal, secretly wishing the man would just leave so they could be alone.

It was five minutes later when Kurt heard a phone ring that he looked up hopefully. The Vice Principal took his phone from his pocket, reading the screen before looking at Kurt.

"I have to take this call. Mr. Hummel, would you mind-"

"Its fine sir." Kurt said honestly, trying not to grin too wide. "Please, take your time."

The man smiled gratefully before dashing out of the room, Kurt's eyes following him out the door. He turned around the instant he left and let out a surprised squeak when Blaine's face was closer than he thought. He was close enough to cause their noses to brush against one another, Kurt noticing that Blaine's eyes were darker than usual. Kurt's glasses slowly slid down his nose, enough to bump Blaine's, making the other boy chuckle and push them back up gently. Kurt's stomach erupted into butterflies. Blaine moved his hand slowly down, fingertips softly caressing Kurt's cheek as if he were made of delicate porcelain. Kurt felt his eyes flutter shut.

"Hi." He said softly, opening his eyes slowly to watch Blaine's lips curve up into a smile.

"Hi."

There was an almost awkward silence again; Kurt getting caught up in staring at Blaine, trying to work out if this was still real.

"I was worried he'd never leave."

"You to?" Kurt said breathlessly, before he could stop himself, blushing as Blaine chuckled.

"You are…" Blaine searched for a word for a moment, scooting even closer. "Adorable."

Kurt's heart leapt at the word, blushing even deeper.

"Quit making me blush." He growled, making Blaine laugh again.

"Im quite good at that, aren't I?"

"Unfortunately." Kurt pouted. Blaine smiled softly.

"Smile, it looks good on you."

"That was cheesy." Kurt said, Blaine laughing ever harder. "Did you get that from the internet? What happened to the guy who promised me sex ed lessons a month ago?"

"Oh, he's still lurking. And he's teaching you." His voice went low, Kurt gulping. "Baby steps." He whispered, finally pressing their lips together. Kurt thought kissing Blaine was probably his favorite thing on the planet, his pencil falling to the desk with a clatter as he moved his hands to rest on Blaine's shoulders, humming contentedly as the other boy pulled away. Blaine straightened out Kurt's glasses, which had been knocked askew as they usually did.

"I really need to get contacts or something." Kurt sighed, Blaine grinning.

"Well, you do look sexy without the glasses on."

"When did you see me without glasses?"

"Your dads garage. The grease monkey get up only adds to the hotness." Blaine explained, Kurt's stomach flipping as he blushed again, looking shocked. Blaine pulled away to laugh out loud at the expression, still laughing at a blushing Kurt when the Vice Principal walked back in, staring at the boys in confusion.

"Everything okay down there?"

"E-everything's fine, sir." Kurt said, coughing before scooting closer to talk to Blaine again. Kurt tried to get them to work again, but Blaine had lost focus. When Blaine would giggle Kurt would poke his side discreetly, muttering "you suck" which only caused Blaine to mutter a horribly obscene joke, making the laughing worse. And for once Kurt actually caved in and laughed along with him.

* * *

><p>Kurt hadn't seen Blaine all day, making him restless and distracted. His nearly cut off his frogs' leg in biology and caused a near explosion in chemistry, all because Kurt was scanning the hallways and classrooms for a glimpse of curly hair instead of focusing on his work. He was a distracted mess, and it was all Blaine's fault.<p>

Kurt tried in vain to get himself to relax. It wasn't like he and Blaine ever did anything during the day for him to terribly miss. They would usually acknowledge each other in the mornings from opposite ends of the hallway with small smiles, and carried on with secret glances until English. It was then that they would try not to stare at each other all period (at least, that's what Kurt did) and then spend the rest of the day waiting for detention, where they'd get to finally talk and flirt and be themselves. Detention was usually followed by secret kissing in the hallways and Blaine walking Kurt home.

Sure, they barely talked all-day, didn't know much about each other and still hadn't gone on an official date, but Kurt didn't mind. He knew they had something special. At least, he hoped they did. He was almost positive Blaine felt the same. He could see it in his eyes, after they kissed or during one of his genuine smiles.

When Blaine walked into English on time, wordlessly making his way to the back of the classroom and flopping into the desk next to Kurt's own Kurt thought his heart was going to leap from his chest. He found himself already blushing, and though it wouldn't look abnormal to anybody else, Kurt knew he was blushing for a different reason than usual.

He peeked a small glance up at Blaine, who Kurt was disappointed to find not looking back at him. Kurt chastised himself by saying their relationship was a secret. So what if they hadn't seen each other all day. What did he expect, hand holding in class?

Still, as the lesson went on, Kurt found it almost awkward to sit next to Blaine, acting like strangers. He couldn't help but imagine the feeling of Blains arms wrapped around him, the way Blaine's lips felt on him, the way Blaine gave him butterflies. Kurt shook the thoughts away, focusing instead on the desk ahead of him. The girl and boy in front of him were holding hands, whispering to each other. Kurt frowned, biting his bottom lip. Kurt wished he could reach over and grab Blaine's hand, whisper to him, smile at him. Hell, he wished he could just talk to him in the hallways sometimes. Especially now. Kurt bit his bottom lip, glancing up at Blaine again and quickly looking away when Blaine caught his eye.

_This is going to be harder than I thought…._ Kurt thought to himself, still chewing his bottom lip.

Kurt was about to start taking notes when he heard the sound of ripping paper. Kurt watched Blaine nonchalantly slide the paper onto Kurt's desk, staring straight ahead at the teacher. Kurt had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

Slowly, Kurt took the page from under Blaine's fingertips and read the message.

_Like what you see?_

Kurt blushed, wishing his could jab Blaine in the ribs like he would if they were alone. He scrawled a quick _shut up_ and went back to his notes, face flushing.

Blaine, however, was insistent. The paper was being slid over again, Blaine trying and failing at hiding what he was doing. Kurt was glad everyone was engrossed in the lesson, or else they'd wonder why Blaine was looking absently around the room while so obviously sliding papers to Kurt.

_Youre cute when you blush._

Kurt rolled his eyes, scrawling another quick message and, much more skillfully than Blaine, sliding the paper over to his desk.

_YOU are a horrible note passer. I have to say I'm surprised. I thought you were supposed to be a badass…_

Blaine scoffed out loud, writing out another message.

_I usually just talk in class. Trying to hide bad behavior has never been a concern for me._

Kurt rolled his eyes, writing again.

_Apparently. How many detentions do you have this year?_

Kurt wondered if it was a little harsh, but was relieved when he saw Blaine stifle a laugh.

_Too many. But its alright now that I have my sexy sex ed tutor, right?_

Kurt blushed, swallowing hard. He tried to ignore Blaine's gaze on him.

_If you're lucky. Lets stick to Math and History. As I recall, you're already passing sex ed with flying colors since it's the only subject you're interested in. _

Blaine bit his bottom lip, eyes shining with laughter.

_Its what I plan on going to school for. _

Kurt bit his bottom lip, laughter bubbling in his chest.

_That's a… nice dream._

Blaine actually laughed now, Kurt sitting up straighter next to him, blushing and at a loss for words. The teacher looked down from her book, glaring.

"Something funny back there, Mr. Anderson?"

"Nothing miss." Blaine said easily, leaning his chair back as Kurt looked away. "Shakespeare is just…really funny."

The teacher narrowed her eyes, going back to the text.

_Were reading a TRAGEDY, Blaine. Right now everyone is discovering the dead bodies of Romeo and Juliet. _

Blaine rolled his eyes, writing again.

_I got out of it didn't I?_

Kurt scoffed, rolling his eyes. Ridiculous. Blaine was ridiculous.

"Now class." The teacher began, Kurt snapping his head up in attention. "We are going to be starting our partner projects. Each team will be assigned a topic by me related to the text, for which you will create a research project and present it to the class." A majority of the class groaned, Kurt rolling his eyes. This project was a piece of cake.

"Now, your partners will be whoever you are sitting beside- Kurt's heart skipped a beat, fingers tightening around his pencil-"And due in two weeks. That is PLENTY of time. More than enough, actually." The class began to playfully debate with the teacher about pushing the assignment date father away as Kurt snuck a glance at Blaine, who was looking away again. Kurt bit his lip, looking down.

Would Blaine even want to be his partner? Maybe Blaine wouldn't want to because it would raise questions. Maybe he didn't want to be seen with Kurt in public at all. After all, to everyone else Blaine was still the bad boy and Kurt was still the bullied loser. They were polar opposites. Hell, they should be almost… enemies. Kurt winced, wanting to sink lower into his seat. Blaine was still turned around. Oh God, why wouldn't Blaine look at him?

Kurt was brought out of his internal panicking by a tap on the arm. He looked up at Blaine, who looked concerned.

"You okay?" He mouthed, eyes showing concern. Kurt nodded quickly, trying to shake off his previous fears.

"Y-yeah."

"Good." Blaine said, looking relieved before looking expressionless, glancing around the room. He coughed, running a hand through his hair. "So, uh, this project…. Can we start at your house?"

Kurt nodded, all his previous doubts disappearing.

"Sure." Kurt breathed, trying not to smile. "Can we start tonight? I… I like to start early." Kurt blushed at the admission, waiting for the insult. Blaine just nodded. Kurt noticed he was trying not to smile.

"Sure. What time should I come?"

"You can come over later tonight, after your detention." Kurt said. "I'm home alone so it'll be just us."

The way Blaine's eyes lit up had Kurt wishing the floor would swallow him whole.

"Please don't make a joke." Kurt whispered, burying his head in his hands, mindful of his glasses. He could practically feel the smirk Blaine had on his face.

"Im saying nothing." The bell rang, Kurt gasping when he felt Blaine's face close to his ear, practically purring. "See you tonight."

Kurt wasn't sure how he was gonna stop his legs from trembling, feeling like he could melt into a puddle right than and there.

* * *

><p>He couldn't do this. He didn't know why he thought he ever could. Blaine Anderson was coming over tonight to his house that was currently empty. This was huge. This was pretty much their first sort of date as a couple, seeing as Blaine and him weren't going out in public any time soon. It was monumental. Gigantic.<p>

Kurt had nothing to wear.

He almost wanted to cry. Of course today was the painful day he realized he had no clothes he liked. All he owned were dress pants, dorky shorts, dress shirts and bow ties.

Sure, he had a few pairs of straight leg jeans and a few sweaters, but he wasn't going for casual thanksgiving dinner wear. Kurt wanted to look… well… sexy.

Even thinking about it made Kurt blush, but he couldn't deny its what he wanted. Blaine looked effortlessly sexy all the time, with his t-shirts that showed off his broad chest and arms, his jeans that made his ass look amazing and the overall badboy look that made any person attracted to males practically melt on spot.

And than there was Kurt, with his khaki pants and bow ties.

Kurt thud his head against the wall with a groan, feeling hopeless. Could he never just feel good about himself?

Kurt sighed, lifting his head up and looking at the clock, suddenly gasping. Blaine would be there in ten minutes.

Kurt practically ran to the bathroom, speed brushing his teeth and applying deodorant, messing with his hair until it lay flatter. He grimaced at his reflection, but skipped the analyzing of his reflection when he saw the clock. Seven minutes.

Kurt shimmied into his best fitting jeans, plain straight leg blue ones, buttoning them up quickly. He ripped through his drawers, clawing past sweater vests and button ups and _oh god, did he own anything that wasn't office wear?_

Finally Kurt settled on a plain, red polo shirt. He went back to the bathroom, sighing. His hair was a mess again. He eyed a packet of sample hair gel warily, ripping the package and squeezing some onto his palm. Maybe if he mussed up his hair a bit he could make the stupid stuff work…

Kurt had just finished styling his hair, content with the messy style when he heard the doorbell ring. His heart jumped. He ran from the bathroom to get the door before his father could before he remembered he was home alone.

Home alone with Blaine, the boy he was dating. Kurt thought his heart was going to leap out of his chest.

Taking in a deep breath Kurt slowly opened the door, revealing Blaine on the other side. He looked good as always, in his dark jeans, white V-neck and leather jacket. Instead of converse he wore black combat boots that he used to stamp out a cigarette, exhaling the smoke away from Kurt before turning to him, smiling. Kurt blushed under Blaine's gaze, whose eyes were looking him up and down, stopping on his face and smirking.

"You got all dolled up for me, gorgeous?"

Kurt blushed even deeper, biting his bottom lip and fiddling with the hem of his polo. Blaine smiled wide, stepping into the house and looking around. Kurt closed the door behind them, clasping his hands to stop them from shaking. God, why was he so nervous?

"Your house… it's nice." Blaine said, looking almost… nervous. Kurt realized that behind the cool and cocky demeanor, Blaine probably felt just as panicked as he did. The thought made him feel a little better. Kurt walked up to Blaine's side, nervously threading their hands together. He let out a sigh of relief when Blaine squeezed his hand, smiling softly at him.

"How about we start the work, yeah?"

"Sure."

"Wanna go to my room?"

The smile that lit up Blaine's face made Kurt want to run and hide.

"Getting me in your bed already gorgeous?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the way his face was flushing.

"If you're lucky Anderson…" He muttered to himself, hearing Blaine laugh as they walked up the stairs together, still holding hands. Kurt let go to open the door and walk to his desk, sitting down gracefully in his desk chair while Blaine flopped down on his bed, groaning.

"Your bed is so comfortable." Blaine practically moaned, moving to hug one of Kurt's pillows. Kurt quirked an eyebrow, unsure how to respond. He was sure his mind was short-circuiting, distracted by the sight of Blaine Anderson in his bed. He would have pinched himself to be sure he wasn't dreaming is he could remember how to move.

"Uhh…. Thanks?" He finally settled on saying, wincing at how awkward he sounded. Blaine just sighed, snuggling closer to Kurt's pillow.

"I could get used to this."

"Used to what?"

"Being in your bed."

Kurt bit his tongue hard, blushing even deeper and clearing his throat.

"Blaine, can we please at least start the project?"

Blaine smirked but got off the bed regardless, sitting in the chair next to Kurt. Kurt smiled at him, happily surprised Blaine had listened, pulling books out of his bag.

"Now, I've already split up the project into different parts we can both focus on…"

For the next while the boys worked. Kurt was shocked by how much Blaine could do. Despite the way Blaine acted in class, where he would spend his time sleeping or not doing anything to spite teachers, he was actually a hard worker. He analyzed quotes almost effortlessly, coming up with ideas Kurt never would have even thought of, and wrote an amazing thesis for their essay, and had an idea to make a quick note power point for the class to copy while they lectured. Best of all, Kurt wasn't stuck doing all the work as he usually did in group projects. Heck, Blaine might have even done more work than him.

An hour and a half into it they had the whole project outlined, ready to be typed up. Kurt thought if they kept working this hard they could finish their essay but Blaine was growing restless, rubbing Kurt's leg with his foot and leaning closer and closer, his hands roaming everywhere. If Kurt hadn't been enjoying it so much he would have been annoyed.

"Blaine…" Kurt finally whined when the other boy started to pepper his cheek with kisses, Blaine simply humming in acknowledgement.

"Can we please at least finish the…" Kurt stopped however when Blaine began to kiss lower, across his jaw line, down his throat. He kissed a spot behind Kurt's ear, making his stomach swoop, eyes fluttering shut.

"Blaine." Kurt whined again, feeling the other boys hands roam across his chest, still kissing him everywhere, moving up his neck to kiss his face again. Kurt thought he had to be dreaming. Finally Blaine brushed Kurt's sides, making Kurt giggle and Blaine pull back, smirking.

"Yes?"

"You're not focusing anymore." Kurt said simply, trying to ignore the face was probably heating up.

"You're very distracting."

Kurt laughed, though he blushed at the same time.

"Yeah, okay."

"Its true." Blaine breathed, his face suddenly inches away. Kurt gulped, noticing Blaine's eyes were dark again. Kurt tried to think of a witty reply but found his brain was drawing a blank, distracted by the lingering smell of cigarette smoke and Blaine's cologne. Blaine moved even closer, their lips brushing together but not kissing. Kurt whimpered, but when he moved forward to try and finally kiss the other boy Blaine pulled back. Kurt gaped at him.

"You're right. We should just keep doing the project-"

"Tease." Kurt breathed, still looking shocked. Blaine was smirking at him, but it disappeared when Kurt grabbed him by his jacket, pulling him closer with surprising strength and finally crushing their lips together.

Kurt nearly sighed in relief, finally kissing the other boy. Blaine pulled back, looking surprised but Kurt didn't stop. Instead he tried to mimic Blaine, kissing along the others boys jaw, down his neck, stopping at the hollow of his throat. Blaine swallowed hard when Kurt kissed his adams apple. Kurt felt Blaine's hands shaking.

"D-damn Hummel. Where the hell is this coming from?"

Kurt looked up at Blaine and smirked, pulling his face closer, threading a hand in his curly hair.

"I have an excellent sex ed tutor." He whispered before kissing the other boy again, taking Blaine by surprise.

* * *

><p><strong>I like to think that while Kurt is a nervous, stuttering mess 99.9% of the time, being alone with Blaine brings out his sexy, confident self.<strong>

**Lucky Blaine. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. I have to say, I've missed writing this story. I have to try and update more often. ;)**

**Reviews would mean the world to me! It would be nice to know if any of my readers are still here, though I wouldn't blame you if you gave up. It really has been a while… **


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